Barren Kingdom

Read it. Just read it!

She sits on her throne divine
Alone drinking expensive wine
She built her castle years ago
Like unto the sites of Bordeaux
She built her fortress steady and strong
Knowing nothing could go wrong
Her subjects chosen by perfection
Only entering upon her selection.

She had loved once before
His charm and smile she did adore
One dark day he went away
Her flawless world in disarray
A decreed went out among the land
A royal bounty given, Him in hand
The Kingdom looked here and there
Not a soul could find him anywhere.

She grieved until the rivers dried
The sprouts of the land wilted and fried.
The empty corridors echoed her steps
Her broken heart filled with regrets.
She made a vow loud and clear.
But there was no ear to hear. 

She sits on her throne divine
Alone drinking expensive wine
She built her castle years ago
Like unto the sites of Bordeaux
Her thoughts remain on the unpardoned
Left forsaken and chagrined.
 

Author's Note

This is my first time rhyming like this! tell me what you think! be honest now...

Reviews

[bluessadmood]

Oh that was so nice ,off course I will read it,though I dont have to..I just looked at it,and right on I saw everything..
As she sat on her throne,so befitting her highness,Alone drinking that wine
She built her castles years ago..She built a fortress steady and strong,Made sure nothing would go wrong
Everything chosen be election,all pure perfection..She once loved before,his smile and charms she did adore
But as it happens in the dark he just left,Her world went into disarray,She looked everywhere ,not a soul could be found
She grieved,rivers dried..Emptiness echoed her steps..heart filled with regrets,Left forsaken and chagrined..
what lovely write..i really loved this..

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

I heard music as I read this poem. It would make a terrific song.

[ttom]

Great poem, very descriptive. I can feel the pain inside the walls.

[A Stranger's Tale]

I love it.It's brilliant.

[Fat]

A job well done, stranger. Most poems with such rhymes seem forced, and have no specific meaning.
Like, the first sentence will be meaningful, and the next will just be some amateur line fit to rhyme the first.
But, you've done an excellent job. :)

[Ophelia]

I adore this. It's very well written. I love the rhyme scheme, and you do very well describing what's going on. It has a good length. Not too long, not too short. Almost like a faerie tale. You should publish your work if you haven't already. And I would love to have a collection of your poetry in my library. =]

[ElizabethAnn]

oh, i like this. the ryhming matches perfectly with the fariy tale enchantment of the poem, even though it ends dark--a twist to the expected fairy tale. but it's lovely, flows nicely, good work.

[Joel Alvarado]

Hmm, very descriptive and colorful. It was vivid enough to see what was going on but it had a midieval tale feel to it. Story oriented and yet a message was attached all in poem form. Very well done for your first time rhyming. I almost have a hard time believe it is actually lol. The only thing that left me wonderinf was whether or not she was bad or mean and if the man that left either left for war or because of her. Who knows? lol still a great piece.

[Ryan Heisel]

Your rhyme scheme reminds me a lot of my own. Again, your work is very detailed and has amazing imagery. You really are a talented author.
~Ryan

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Love can change your world for the best or worst... I really love it, it was fun to read while teaching a valuable lesson.