Rhyming Words

Starting out real slow

and this poem that we know

will soon erupt and then flow

into one insane crazy show

so before we let it go

and starting rhyming out of control

let's hold back the fiery blow

that all of us try to stow

deep inside until we crow

and when that happens we shout "Whoa,"

and put forth effort although

we can't control the overflow

and no matter how much we say no

life will always come back and throw

everything it has at us. Even so

we have to continue to glow

with a radiation. We grow

everyday and turn into a pro

so why don't we just forego

all formalities and turbo

ahead like a u.f.o.

so watch me. I'm on a roll.

Here we go with a new line

and along with it a new rhyme.

This is where I start to incline

towards spinning out of control. My design

tends to get a little hazy and align

with a peculiar sense of my mind

so I'm just gonna resign

and let go. This crazy divine

sense of insanity is all just fine.

I'm just gonna lay here supine

and attempt to stay benign,

acting polite besides my decline

to let people climb on me like a vine.

Yet they still try to assign

me to taking care of the swine.

Could this possibly be a sign

that I'm meant to stay behind

while all the stars realign

and leave me here, nowhere to dine

because my insanity in rhymes

have caused me to be shunned and lied

to about the future. I'm

determined to let it shine.

This is a flame that will never die

as long as I have wings with which to fly

and air in my lungs that keeps me so high.

I won't come down until I die

and when I die the world will cry

and there won't be a single dry eye

because then they will realize

all the atrocities me and my guys

and all my ladies have faced so why

would you wait until my time

is over to feel bad for all the crimes

you criminally committed to just get by

feeling much about yourself than I

did when you tore me down and tried

to crush my soul, my spirit, my mind

but my will is about to cry

out and make you want to go and retry

the chances you had and used them awry.

You tended to use me a fault guy,

a scape goat for every weak lie.

I'm reaching up and I could touch the sky.

Together we're moving on as we ally.

You and I, we can be

anything that we choose to. See,

we are fearlessly, invincibly

moving on towards our victory.

So until we rest under a tree

and finally find ourselves completely free

we will fight on and continue to decree

everything that we can foresee

happening to us. You and me

are forever appointees

of the ultimate wannabes.

The difference is together we

can create any guarantees

because I got a master's degree

in guaranteeing a bright future for thee

and for every one of your buddies.

Oh no, 

this flow 

is about to go 

overboard and I know

that our dough

is pro

but yo

just let it go

and let it be.

This is your life

and you're free.

Race around

like a race car

while you pound

their glass jar.

But pay no mind to a cut or scrape

because you will still deserve a cape.

We're all superheroes in some way

so as long as you're alive, stay

confident in your own abilities

and press on forward the thick trees

because no matter what life will throw

the only thing you can do is just go

and is life ever gets a little too hazy

lose your mind and go a little crazy.

Reviews

[Confuser]

Great stream of thoughts, found myself laughing at some points, stopping at others: you criminally committed to just get by feeling much about yourself than I
did when you tore me down and tried
to crush my soul, my spirit, my mind
but my will is about to cry: other lines: climb me like a vine: it is uplifting too; but also somber..it's like intellectualization; like a you're hiding a little, but then give a peek at the conflict, maybe unconsciously within your mind; sounds sometimes conflicted and angry, but then you pick up the positive, uplifting. I enjoyed it very much. Please keep writing! Dale

[Not here]

thank you very much dale :) i appreciate your indepth review alot

[Confuser]

You're welcome!

[Melinda McQueen]

This is creative indeed. Stringing lines together in perfect rhyme is an art which flows from a great mind. hehe
A great write.

[Ricky Campbell]

Could use some help grammar wise through out the poem, but then again every poem needs some work on grammar! This doesn't feel at all like free verse to me. It also comes off more as a rap, and if you meant for it to be a rap, adding more content into each line would be a good start and also polishing the flow.

[Not here]

thank you i will take into consideration your reviews :)

[Nadia Gerassimenko]

Awww cute kitty and butterfly!

This was supremely astounding! You already prove to be a wonderful poet, but here you outdid yourself tenfold! Indeed as Dan said it is not easy to rhyme in every single line with words that sound the same, but you did it majestically. And the flow is very fluid and feels like a powerful rap song. The meaning has also never been lost. You spoke about being strong and going on no matter what life throws at you all throughout.

[Not here]

thank you :) i just hope people can live the message

[Nadia Gerassimenko]

But of course!

[nazia]

I like it. the effort every poet puts in to rhyme a poem, to make it a good read, to be meaningful and lyrical at the same time is not an easy job to do. A great job on your part to put all that effort itself on the read list. Nice write David :)

[Not here]

thank you alot :)

[Cool Girl]

I agree with Nazia :)

[♔ CrownedDevil &#..]

I love the avatar for this poem. I this poem had a nice flow to it. Very well done.

[dan]

david, constructing a poem in which every line in a stanza ends with the same sound (rhyme) is not a very easy thing to do. This type of writing has been called "stream of consciousness" writing, in which the poet basically opens the mind and lets everything spill out onto the page. This type of write would also be great doing a poetry reading, a form of spoken word art. It's great to see you stepping out of the box and trying new forms of expression. Writing can be an adventure, with new discoveries opening new doors. Very nice job on this. take care...dan

[Not here]

thank you dan, and i know you can portray feelings easier sometimes during free verse, but when it rhymes and everything just clicks it shows feelings more easily. thats why songs are so powerful i think

[dan]

david, I did not say that rhyming is no good, a lot of my stuff rhymes. Go back to a lot of my earlier ones posted here on WC, lotta rhymes. I just find that sometimes I may disregard the perfect word for the poem, but I'm confined by the fact it doesn't rhyme. It is simply writing with less constraints. Notice I didn't mention writing free verse at all in my review. You can do all sorts of things WITH rhyme, like internal rhymes or irregular rhymes. You're young, man, you have to find where you're comfortable and go with that. Fly that flag. Whatever way you choose to write you will write well because you have a talent, a gift. You gotta use it. take care...dan

[Not here]

yeah i was just saying that some people think free verse is easier. thanks for your review dan!

[dan]

david, If I have a good idea and plot line in my head, it doesn't matter if I write in in free verse or a rhyme scheme format, I will write a piece that I'll be happy with. Conversely, if I don't start with a good idea then all bets are off. Whatever your comfortable with at that point in time, keep doing it. take care...dan

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Okay. This is very well done. I like this piece. :)