THEY fell

SHE FELL

for an angel with a demon,

for a genius with no brain,

for a boyfriend with no heart and

for a heart that's gone insane.

for a teen who's still a child,

for medicine that brings pain,

for a person she never met and

for a love she won't obtain.

SHE SAW HIM

as a man that was a genius,

as a boy more than a friend,

as a husband who would love, and

as a love without an end.

as a pair of hands to hold her,

as a heart that she could mend,

as a warmth that she could feel, and

as a dead man she'd defend.

SHE LEFT HIM

as a suicidal dead man

who would quickly turn to meth,

as a roadblock in the way, he

was a man that soon knew death.

SHE SAW HIM

for the last time at his funeral,

where she soon began to see.

that the man who she was missing

was in a cage; she held the key.

Reviews

[Aphy!]

A beautiful story in a well placed poem. Felt the emotion in every line and the story flowed so effortlessly and wonderfully. This was amazing Dante and I really enjoyed reading it. Made me cry

Aphy

[Not here]

thank you aphy :) sorry about the tears. im glad you liked it.

[JayceeC]

I like this story very much. Women often fall for an image they have rather than the real man. That has happened since the beginning of time, the intent just made it easier. Love the parallel.structure throughout this poem. Only thing you might edit is the ending strophe. After all what good is the key when he's dead. That may be your point, but it's the one weak point in this otherwise straight forward poem

[Not here]

thank you jaycee. alright ill look into it :) i apprecaite it

[Stan Lee]

Why did she leave him? Is there more to this story Dante?
A well written poem as always with great rhythm and rhyming. I especially liked the "genius with no brain" :)

Thanks for sharing!

[Not here]

thank you smiley face :) and idk. i might write something eventually. i was trying to imply that he kind of freaked her out and scared her

[Stan Lee]

Oh ok. I see now :)

[Melinda McQueen]

A very sharp write, cutting to the core.

Can someone say... Goosies!

[Not here]

lol you can if you want to :) thank you

[closed]

Good one David

This one leaves you shivering some

from a sharp chill along the spine


-Dream

[Not here]

thnk you for the review dream :)

[Shadowkai]

Wow that went from sweet and thoughtful to holy cow, but that is pretty much how I feel when I get dumped, I turn to something to make me happy and have contemplated suicide in the past, clearly never succeeded because I'm still here... or am I. Great poem I look forward to your next keep up the great work.
Great Job,
Shadowkai

[Not here]

"or am I" LOL. and thank you :) idk why i wrote this. it just kinda came to my head

[Shadowkai]

Well your a genius, can i borrow your head I'm a bit stumped in my writing write now :)

[Not here]

lol sure lemme mail it

[Shadowkai]

Sweet thank you

[Not here]

yep yep itll be there soon

[Shadowkai]

Awesome can't wait