I Know What Lies Between the Lines

The young girl in the story,

She is sad.

The young girl in the story is sad.

Her sadness is told to me

Like a fairytale.

Her sadness is spun into a

Tragically beautiful tale.

 

The young girl in the story’s sadness

Is not beautiful.

Tragic, it is, but the young girl’s sadness

Is just sad.

The story tells us that the young girl

Is sad. It tells us her sadness

Is beautiful. The story is just that - a story.

 

The girl in the story’s real story

Is between the lines

Of the words on the page.

In these spaces are not beauty but

Ugliness.

Violent weeping. Snotty noses. Dark, dark, dark.

Ugly sadness lives in these spaces.

 

The young girl in the story,

She is beautiful and she is sad.

She is poetically beautiful. She is sad.

She is not beautifully, poetically sad.

Because at the end of the day,

Sad

Is just sad.

Author's Note

I wrote this in a different style/manner than I normally do in order to get my idea and point across. Let me know what you think.

Reviews

[KeeD]

First i'd like to commend the presentation, the font used was perfect, it seemed like a type story, it gave the perfect script effect where you're expect to hear about the young girls story. But then the title says it all read between the lines, it wasn't about the story of this girl it was about why she has a story in the first place. It allows room to imagine, think, the readers own perspective, its definitely a style I'm not so familiar with but it impressed me :D I liked it a lot :) Simple, easy to read, good flow. Great write

[devon]

Thank you! I am so, so glad you enjoyed this style! I was really worried when I wrote it that no one would like it, because of the style of it. It's drastically difference, as you can see, from the way I normally write my poetry. Usually, I write in a manner that uses imagery and metaphors and similes. This is different - it's darker and more simple that what I usually write. So, I am SO happy that someone likes it!

[KeeD]

Like it is an under statement, honey I loved it. It was so different and unique and it just drew me in.

[devon]

Awwww! :) That makes me SOOO happy! Thank you so much!

[Nevtry]

This is a very nice poem - just a couple points. The first two lines don't make sense as a sentence and that throws me off, personally.

Also, when you write "Tragic, it is, but the young girl’s sadness", the 'it is' part of the sentence seems off when it is compared to how you wrote the rest of the poem, so it stands out and not in a good way.

Lastly, this line is not well integrated into the poem: "The story is just that - a story." It just doesn't seem to fit.

But I really like the ending! It was wonderfully written. And the repetition really drives the point home. :)

- N

[kublakhan27]

Your repetition really drives home the raw irony of the "story" :)

[devon]

Thank you :)

[kublakhan27]

You are welcome :)

[C.C. Marx]

I like this structure, unconventional but unique and interesting. Nice job :)

[devon]

Thank you so much! I'm really glad you liked it! Seems not too many people do, lol.

[C.C. Marx]

Or maybe people are yet to see the creatively :p, give it time

[devon]

Thank you; I will definitely give it some time!

[C.C. Marx]

My pleasure good luck!!

[devon]

Thank you, again!