Embrace

Little soldier,

Atop rolling hills of green -

“Remember me”, and shaky voice of boy meets

Steady earth beneath man’s feet.

 

Sun, hidden in safety,

Behind curtains of steeled gray,

Beckoned, beckoned, beckoned for those

Brave enough to play.

 

In a war both sides will lose,

A little soldier is consumed

Into a man’s grave.

To his little boy’s corpse,

 

The earth, unheard, whispers:

“I will remember you.”

Author's Note

Not sure about this.

Reviews

[The Nude Writer]

What inspired you to write this? I get what you are saying about boys becoming men in war (right?)
*3 more reads later*
I would change the line to "Shaky voice of boy meets steady Earth beneath man's feet"
That threw me off a little first time around.
I think it is a very good poem. and a fantastic subject. Read it again and see how you feel :)

[devon]

I definitely agree - I will change the line when I get back on later! And actually, I was more so trying to tell a story rather than give an over all message. I wanted to kind of show this young boy going to war, and even though he is considered to be a "man" and to have died a "man's death", in the end he was still a little boy. He was a mother and father's son, he may have been a younger brother or older brother. He was brave and strong, but still he was a boy. If that makes sense... Lol.

Thank you! :)

[The Nude Writer]

Totally get it :)

[Mir]

i love how you are able to tell a story with your poetry! I try and try, but I often have to write it in first person. Sad, Lovely, spectacular piece! :)))

[devon]

Thank you! :) I had actually forgotten that I had even written this until now!

[Adam Lebzo -RonninWarri..]

Nice calm poem about a rather disturbing subject, nice
But I think "loose" is "lose"

[devon]

Thank you! I changed it. :)

[Adam Lebzo -RonninWarrior-]

Glad I helped!

[devon]

I love when people have some critique or advice for me, so thank you, again!

[Adam Lebzo -RonninWarrior-]

Anytime!