The Eastern Sun

The eastern sun does set with grace by seas,

Does swallow tiding shore by shore in rays,

Its golden beauty very much like thee’s,

Its rise as poised as your own displays.

 

Over the Atlantic, he sets, unseen,

By those who are looking westward, instead.

Yet, morning come, he will create a scene

And shades are worn to ignore light he shed.

 

Day after day, he is overlooked, but

He is loved by many who choose to look,

He is loved by the farmer in a rut,

And the boy who draws him in his notebook.

 

And of the eastern sun, you’ll likely find,

That I write poetry of him in my mind.

Author's Note

I had to write my own Shakespearean styled sonnet for English class. It had to be written in Iambic Pentameter, which I am not very good with. Can you please read it and let me know if there's anything I need to fix/improve?

Thank you!

Reviews

[Mir]

Very rhythmic and musical-like.
At first I though this was about a sailor setting sea, and then I finished it, and it seems like you could be talking about God. Either way, it's lovely! :D

[devon]

I was actually talking about a boy, who most people ignore, but I find quite lovely. :) But thank you! And really, I see how it could be interpreted to be speaking about God!

[Whiskurz]

Great personification....Good write my friend.....Whisk

[devon]

Thank you :)

[The Nude Writer]

Sorry. I only write in Sophetic pentameter. Meaning I write how Sophie (me) feels :)
I hope someone smarter comes around :)

I love this poem. You took such a simple subject and made it huge. And worded it so wonderfully. :)

[devon]

Thank you! I'm what you call a perfectionist, so I've been trying to get this poem down exactly. I started working on it at around noon, and just finished! I really hope my teacher likes it! And yes, I usually write how I want to write, too. I hate guidelines. :/

[The Nude Writer]

Guidelines kill me. If have to think about it, my writing basically stops.

[devon]

Exactly! Hahaha, I think I could have easily written a better poem if I didn't have to write the way that Shakespeare is famous for. I'm not Shakespeare, nor do I want to be!

[The Nude Writer]

I still think it is very good. Wouldn't change it at all

[devon]

Well, thank you! Something about it is annoying me, but I guess I'll have to live with it. I just really hope my teacher thinks well of it!

[The Nude Writer]

He/she better. Or I'll give him/her/it a punch in the nose :)

[devon]

Aw, hahahaha! Thank you! And she's a she. :)