Reluctantly!

He walks up to my door so nonchalantly

Takes hold of and gently kisses my hand

Looks at me with those wanting gray eyes

Stands there in the darkness of the night

 

She's fifty-three

He's thirty-four

 

She watches as he walks away

Wishing she would have let him stay

But then she wonders what if he had

What kind of future could they have

 

She's fifty-three

He's thirty-four

 

If she were ten years younger

If he were ten years older

Perhaps it would make more sense

To fall in love that way

 

She's fifty-three

He's thirty-four

 

Sadly she watches him leave

As she reluctantly closes her door

Reviews

[Beautifully Tragic xPoe..]

Love is strange. Great write!

[Rhiannon Dragonraine]

Wow! the emotion and scene that this paints brought a tear to my eye! Though I think at that stage in life age is just a number and shouldn't be a determining factor. The way you explained feelings and thoughts and doubts in this is well done it makes the reader feel as if they are a participant in the scene. Great Job!

[Gema]

Hey 10 year gap means nothing if u love this guy go get him my bf is 10 years older than me and i love it!
We are like there is no age gap!
If this is your chance of love and happiness go get it =)

[Raja]

Well I am just thirty :)

Before I shed light on your writing flair, I wish I could speak something on this familiar subject.

I like the idea. In common parlance, it is thought to look the age as the barrier of a relationship like this - where one of the couples is much older to have been accepted in an affair. But frankly speaking, it happens these days, breaking all the taboos and age-old concepts. Some are still holding the gothic concept of being in a relationship where the age is of that much issue.

Actually, this depends on person to person. Whoever is going to stay is more important. Whom you will feel ease to live with is also a matter of grave concern. So, be happy and love and listen to your heart!!

Now, about your writing, it is awesome just. I like the whole poem in a story-like melodrama.

Good work.

Thank you for giving me an opportunity to read such a nice work.

Raja.

[Ray Hamilton]

Quick call him back at our age, age is just a number
Then again, I wouldn't feel comfortable with a 32 year old
I guess your right
Sad but enjoyable read
Ray

[Rachel Hays]

Well, if you didn't just knock my socks off! This is wonderful! It's tough and you hit the point so poignantly. I met a man 16 years my senior a long time ago, and he's my best friend. It's hard to not love him as I'm sure is true for him, but I suppose we both know better. I read it over and over and every time, my heart breaks a little more. Thank you so much for sharing. I can't wait to start reading more of your work. By the way, Snuffing the Ember is completed. It won't hold a candle to something like this, though! =)

[Constance]

Shortly after my divorce, I got to talking with my landlord, who was almost 50. I was not quite 26. He had children who were almost my age. It was terrible, because there was an attraction, and a strong friendship there, so many things in common. Finally, one night when we were talking we both started in on why it wouldn't work and we knew it, though neither had ever mentioned any possibility out loud before. Sometimes, age really does make a difference, because of our way of life, or the input of society and family.
This brought my mind back to that time. I think she made the right decision, perhaps, though such a reluctant one.
Very nicely written. I, like those below me, liked the repetition which really drove the point home. Good work!

[Helen Woodward]

Age is of no consequence if love is real and both parties are comfortable with the arrangement. I love this Deb, it is extremely well formed and clear as crystal...no obscurity at all.
I'm proud of you!!
Love
Helen xxxx

[Carole]

I love the repetition in this poem. It proved to be very effective to make your point:


She's fifty-three

He's thirty-four

You explained it all right here:


If she were ten years younger

If he were ten years older

Perhaps it would make more sense

To fall in love that way


The flows is perfect. You out did yourself with this one Deb. Utter perfection through and through! :-)

[*~Imperfectly Me~*]

Such a sad piece... oh how it makes me wonder what could have been... Very well expressed! such sadness in the lines... I liked the repetition, it showed how she kind of had to convince herself that it was too taboo... Good Job!