The First Cut Is The Deepest

T he first cut is the deepest

H e left a hole in my heart

E ach time he injected heroin into his veins

 

F eeling as though I'd much rather it were another woman

I nstead of a drug that took my place

R ealizing I couldn't do anything but watch in horror or just leave him

S izzling inside of me were feelings of hatred toward my own husband

T orn between my feelings of love for him, I was so damn confused

 

C ast aside whenever the uncontrollable

U rge for the drug came to him as

T houghts of suicide often entered my mind, I was so distraught and yet

 

I  was so much stronger than that I told myself

S tronger than him...

 

T he life of a heroin addict is a road to hell and I traveled it with him

H e will lie, and steal from his family and friends to no

E nd for there is always that next fix haunting him

 

D rowning in his desire to keep getting higher and higher

E yes that told on him as they were always dilated most of the time

E erie tracks that ran up and down the arms that caressed me

P leading with god, I often found myself praying he would stop using

E ven paid for him to go to a methadone clinic to no avail

S eems that the monkey on his back just wouldn't let him go

T he nightmare of a lifetime finally caught up him and today he is dead

Reviews

[Anthony M Smith Jr]

I see you traveled a path with this person and no doubt you may have had feelings of helplessness! What ever he may have used in this life is now forfeit to you to enjoy! I too have the same emotions for some of my younger relatives who trek on such a miserable journey, to be comfortably numb and they say I could never understand, but in fact I do! Again, you have written about pain which is an old friend of mine who comes by me often! Thanks for sharing. Light and Life to you and yours!
TT-TTO-NI-K
Elk

[Rick Puetter]

Dear debileah,

A powerful piece, to be sure. Not many have seen the horrors that you have seen and lived through this. It is marvelous that you can expose these horrors to others as a warning.

Wonderful write.

Best regards,

Rick