The Loneliness of Evan McCourt

 

The Loneliness of Evan McCourt

By Chris DeBruyckere

 

            Even as he woke, the loneliness crept in on him. If he wasn’t feeling frustration or anxiety, he was feeling loneliness. It was overwhelming and utterly unavoidable, like the uncomfortable bite of cold that stings your flesh in a winter storm. He tried thinking about other things: his friends, his family, his school; but they all led one way or another to the bitter loneliness. His friends seemed to date new people weekly, or did it just seem that way? Why was it so easy for them?

            He didn’t want that, though. He didn’t want to date a new guy every week. The very thought made him laugh. All he wanted was one: One guy to hold hands with in the hallways, to talk to about all the things he couldn’t talk to his friends about, to make haughty heads turn to stare at the gay couple (this thought made him laugh). All he wanted to have was the same thing that every god-damn one else seemed to have. He wanted to feel the same emotions as everyone else, but no, not for him. Not for Evan McCourt. Alas, he thought with a sigh, life must go on.

            Evan reluctantly swung his feet out of his warm bed and onto the cold, hard floor. He sat there in nothing but a shabby pair of blue boxers and yawned, stretching his limbs out of there sleepy fog and running a hand through his long, unkempt brown hair. He stood up and slouched to the bathroom, shutting the door as quietly as possible so as not to wake his sleeping family. He really didn’t care if they woke up or not, he just did this out of habit. He started toward the shower but stopped when he saw himself in the floor length mirror.

            He had a slim but toned body which stretched up to almost six feet. His abs were visible, but just barely, and his arms were thin, but capable, giving him the look of a swimmer. His chin was a little in need of a shave, but would go without one due to the plea of Evan’s friends. His eyes were bluer than water, two sapphire jewels hidden behind slight curtain of dark hair.

            “I’d date me.” he said to himself pitifully. With a sigh, he turned from the mirror and stepped into the shower. After a half hour’s preparation, the newly dressed Evan McCourt ran to the bus stop in a hurry, a pile of books in one arm, the bag that should have been carrying them in the other, and an apple stuck in his open mouth.

            He sat alone at the front of the bus with his headphones in his ears. He heard without really listing to a song from Coldplay. His thoughts lingered on the boys in his school. The preppy b******s who wore Abercrombie & Fitch, American Eagle, and Hollister and whose only purpose in life was to be superior. A cold chill of hatred and repulsion rose through Evan’s spine at the thought of them. He thought of the jocks, the stupid, half-witted ignoramuses who, despite their sheer stupidity, had the bodies and usually the faces of gods. Totally unfair, thought Evan savagely. He even thought about the skater guys who treated people like Evan with every fiber of distaste they could muster. B******s, he thought to himself. The song on his Ipod changed to a song by Death Cab for Cutie and with it, his thoughts changed as well.

            Evan had thought about him so often that the image could be conjured in his mind as easily as his favorite song. The boy in his thoughts was a veritable god. He was tall, muscular, but with a small waste, and the most beautiful, the most perfect face in the world. A god’s face. He had a chiseled chin with the perfect amount of stubble. His eyes were pale green and bright, the kind of eyes that could look right through you. His hair was cut short, but in a way that accented his face beautifully. Oh yeah, there was no doubt in his mind, Jensen Scott was the hottest man in school. But alas, thought Evan miserably as the bus turned into the school parking lot, Jensen Scott is a jock. A hot jock, there was no denying it, but a jock none the less.

            Evan walked off the bus toward school, stuffing the Ipod into his jeans pocket and still carrying the now half eaten apple in his mouth. His mind still stayed with Jensen, the sexiest senior in all of Decker High School History. Evan’s friends always told him that they caught Jensen looking at him in the halls, but he shrugged this off without much thought. They were either trying to make him feel good or simply poking fun at him. Yet, sometimes, Evan could have sworn that he saw Jensen wink at him when they passed in the hallway. Was it just his mind playing tricks? Probably. He had thought, no, hoped . . . but that was ridiculous.

            Evan entered the school feeling lonely as ever. He greeted his friends with a false smile, hugging each of them in turn as usual. One of his friends, however, hugged him a little more vigorously then usual.

            Ashley Martins was a very close friend of Evan’s who just happened to be dating the cousin of Jensen Scott. As she hugged Evan, she jumped and giggled excitedly.

            “What’s with all this happy that you’re emanating? Does my complete sexiness make you giddy?” joked Evan.

            “Totally,” said Ashley, “but nay, nay my good Sir. It is not your sexiness that makes me a dithering fool. I have for you here,” she pulled something from her pocket, “a note.”

            “A note? And why, pray tell, does a note make you dither so?” Evan raised an eyebrow skeptically as he took the note.

            “It is not the note,” intoned Ashley, “but the contents of said note that turns me into blithering giggler.” they both laughed at that and Evan began to read.

            Hey Evan it said in an untidy scrawl, this may sound sketchy but I’ve kind of been watching you for a while and I think you’re really cute.

            Evan stopped reading and looked up at Ashley. “The note thinks I’m cute. That’s odd.” said Evan.

            “Just keep READING!” she pleaded imploringly.

            He continued reading: Okay, weird part over. Um, you and I are in the same gym class and I thought maybe you and I could talk today. I heard form a reliable source that you were gay, but if your not this is probably creeping you out right now. Well, if you’re interested, I’ll see ya in gym. If your not, well, I’ll still see you in gym.

                      -Jensen

            At the signature, Evan almost lost it.

            “Jensen. As in Jensen Scott?” His voice shook with a .mixture of skepticism and excitement.

            “Yes, sir!” said Ashley excitedly.

            Evan’s whole body shook. The timpani of his heart seemed to beat louder and faster then it had ever previously done before. He must be dreaming, he must have fallen asleep again and was now in a wonderful dream. He told Ashley to pinch him but all that came out was: “Pinshee.”

            “Huh?”

            “PINCH ME!” he said. She obliged painfully.

            “Ow!” He gasped. “I’m not asleep then?”

            “Nope!” She said happily. Now she looked positively insane. She was jumping up and down excitedly, like a Chihuahua waiting for its food. Many people were now staring at her, her large skirt was billowing and her boots were making loud clopping noises.

            “But- but gym starts in, like…” he turned to look at the clock, but before he could locate it, the bell rang, as if it were cheering him on. He looked at Ashley, who now had tears in her eyes, and kissed her full on the lips before running toward the gym at top speed. He burst into the locker rooms to find he was the first person to arrive, which probably was a first. Gym wasn’t Evan’s cup of tea, but today he had no complaints. He walked over to a bench and sat there, trying to compose himself while the rest of the class filed in. He didn’t change; he wanted to look his best for…. he could barely think of the name without laughing…. Jensen Scott.

            He waited to be called into the gym from the locker room; Jensen usually came into the locker rooms as soon as he got to school so he could change and then help the gym teachers set up for the day’s activities. Well he is a jock, thought Evan.

            When he got the ‘okay’ from the gym teachers, he walked as composedly as possible into the gym. It took him three and a half seconds to locate his target. Jensen was standing in the corner looking (if possible) hotter than usual. His eyes were slightly squinted, scanning the gym, but then he saw Evan and his eyes lit up and a smile broke across his perfect face. Evan nearly melted. The only thought that escaped the jumbled storm of chaos that was Evans mind as he walked toward the corner of the gymnasium was the decision that gym was his favorite class, and that every day should be National Physical Education Day. It felt like hours, or maybe milliseconds, before he reached his destination. He took a deep breath then looked up at the face that had so often haunted his thoughts.

            “Hey,” said Jensen. His jeans hung on his pelvic bones loosely and the only top he was wearing was a nearly transparent wife-beater. Every muscle was visible. His hands were in his pockets; he looked, simultaneously, like and angel and a demon. His eyes could be pure innocence or absolute evil. Evan was drawn like a moth to flames.

            “Hey,” replied Evan…..

 

 

THE END

Reviews

[frankkiesayrelax]

LOLS SEAN'S COMMENT.
though i agree, you are quite the linguistic artiste.



btdubs, this be freeman.

[Sean Augy]

Dude, I remember you writing this in gym class. lol
I can't help but to feel that the look of Evan is slightly based off of me...
Except for the blue eyes lol
But hey, you know what I could be crazy, ya know. lol
Anyways dude, I must say that I LOVE THIS STORY!!!!
You are a quite good writer my friend.
Please add more writing
But for my sake...
NO TWILIGHT FAN FICTION PLEASE!!!!!!!! lol