reynard the fox

you cheeky little furball you....

My, how the deceit continues to drip from your mouth.  You shared all, & I knew more than any? I knew nothing but the false stoires I was fed.  Over and over, like a moth to flame, I walked into the fire, & singed I came.  The only haze around me was the fog of who I believed you were.   A cloud I carried with me, day in, & day out.  A heavy mist, finally cleared in a cold padded room.  Barely big enough for me, I was stared down upon with authority, your lies unraveled at my feet; one by one.  Truth came puring out, all the while draining everything inside me.  They say its best to learn from the horses mouth, yet I was baited, allured, bamboozled, beguiled, charmed, ensnared, persuaded, seduced and wheedled by a donkey instead.  I was made a fool by those who came to undress you.  Delighted to rip you to pieces, assuming; hoping it would have been to my delight.  Lusting for the criminal they thought I was, I gave unto them everthing you had given me, so sure they were wrong.  Only to be laughed at, my naivete obviously not aware of the facts.  My wide-eyed soul defending that which I "knew better than any".  The truth, in short, I knew nothing.  I wanted nothing more than to curl up and die, faced in moment with the insurmountable veracity that you were never mine, you were someone elses always.  At least, for a time, I was yours, truly, completely yours, unshared.  Your many brothers and sisters? No, only one.  Your life on the rez, the proof was none.  The billy badass military trainer, I guess not really.  Wolfman. your construction company, please, Dear Miss, dont be silly.  Couldn't hold a job to save your life, and apparently, living off the unemployment of the "wife".  The property I was planning on moving to, finally...after years to have my family.  No, no, not really, please Dear Miss, dont be silly.  Was it a dream? A joke? A game?  Did you think it funny?  Perhaps you have my "lies" and your own confused.  Where do mine end and others begin? Will this ever end?  Will you ever just be honest with me?  That is all I ever wanted, all I ever asked.  I never wanted money, or things, or bright big shiny baubles.  I wanted you and your love, which was never there to give, please, lets be honest.  I was never proud for the flattery, or the apologies, freely given.  I never drug it out of you, you were completetly willing, to let that all slip off your tongue, and let it playfully dance in my ear.  My trixster laughs at you, how silly you are.  My dear Reynard, you cheeky little fox you, I should have seen it so many times before.

Author's Note

is there ever solace for the broken pieces of someones heart?....please someone, tell me there is a cure