Break Emotion

A Story by Livi Mariotti

Emotions can be so hard to live with sometimes

The feeling of wanting to do everything, dropping to a want to do nothing. All or nothing feeling I am sick of facing. I want to throw it far, break it. How do I break a feeling? I want to break emotion; smash the sadness. Destroy the despair. Stretch out the stress. It’s not something you can just demolish. Not something you can smash it into bits, and watch the pieces become smaller and smaller as you keep putting pressure into it. Watching the emotion decrease as you feel the relief coming through. I would love to smash my thoughts.

People do not understand that you are stuck with your mind, stuck with those thoughts of yours. Sometimes you have the power to change your thoughts, other times you have no choice over what direction your mind goes to. You have to try to direct it in order to stay on the right track. I want to escape this mind, I want a stable thought process. It is not something I can replace. I can’t go to the repair shop and get it all fixed up after a couple hours. It isn’t something you could trash if you don’t like it, and buy one you would much prefer. It is not something you can run far, far away from. I think about if the thoughts of which I am thinking are the right thoughts that I should be thinking about. Would everything be better off if I could just focus my mind on everything positive? Why am I so attracted to all of the negative things that happen in life?

I feel like I am broken; I feel as though I have broken myself. Can I feel like I can break my negative thoughts instead? Can I break that heartbreaking feeling of feeling broken? Can I take control over my thoughts so they can no longer control me?

Push, pull, get away. Fight the emotion, break it, break the emotion. Break it, like it broke you.