Burns

My answer to the poem "Playing With Children" by ... I know he's probably an alienated teenager trying to be a bad a*s but some things I can't let slip by without comment.

Someone wrote a poem about burning children alive

Let's take a trip down Ricochet's memory archive

A few lasting impressions that may shed some light

On civilian ignorance and the horror of human plight

 

Burned and broken bodies screaming in the night

Digging through the rubble of another air strike

Little flaming victims snatch their life away

Living breathing dying in violence and decay

 

Momma's so frantic she can't find you anywhere

In the shattered ruins of splinters and despair

Daddy's desperately digging in smoldering wreckage

Praying to Allah for an Angel with a survivor message

 

A pink sweater is seen peaking out of the rubble

It was her favorite color it made her smile bubble

Clear away the twisted rebar, mortar, and broken stone

Pull her barely breathing from her instant tombstone

 

She was so badly burned there's nothing they can do

She died within the hour her young life was through

Mommy and daddy's screaming pain fill up the sky

Consumed by grief and agony all they can do is cry

 

Just another horrific scene from the land of the gun

So post burning baby poems yeah that might be fun

But those of us that defended the land of milk and honey

Know that kind of ignorant s**t aint so f*****g funny

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

I'm not suggesting ... delete a single line of his work. He's got a right to post whatever he pleases. I'm fine with that. To me it's all about the truth and the reality of severly burned children beyond horrific. Trust me on that.

Reviews

[Pax]

this is great, a picture imagery of horrifying experience from you my friend..
I see that this person doesn't see the reality of the events he mention...his mind is a very dark place... and your right..he has every right for freedom of speech...i guess his works is just disturbing...

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you for reading burns mr pax

[Relic's Bare Trees]

I read some of his other poems thinking maybe the poem you speak of was just a horror poem gone wrong. It's not. Hate and anger are somewhat of a pattern in his work as far as I know. Glad you wrote this and sorry you had to experience such hell.

I'm reminded of the little naked girl running down the road during the viet nam war. Terrible stuff. I don't think he understands that.

[Baby Ricochet]

I know the photo you mean. She's running out of a village that was hit by napalm. Thankyou for reading Burns Pendragon.

[Relic's Bare Trees]

No problem.

[Ees]

I did not see the poem that made you think to write this one, but your message is very clear. You do well to portray the horror, imagining being a parent in this situation, though I am not sure how I feel about the rhyme scheme which tends to lend itself to topics that are somewhat fun in nature.... Ya know what I mean?

On a sidenote, by best friend's mother when to high school, living in Iran. One night there were a group of us over at her house and we were talking about what it would smell like or be like to see someone burnt alive. Well, she'd seen it, been there, when her neighbors were burnt (She lived in Iran in the late '70s)... She deff gave us kids a different and more realistic perspective.

I think that you did a good job in making the reader think about what it would feel like if it were their own child.
Goodjob

[Baby Ricochet]

I think I know what you mean and yes as you know I love writing funny poems. Thank you for reading burns Eas.

[KAOlmsted]

(I never read, nor will I ever read, the poem to which you are referring) That being said, there are some poets who inspire, and others still who merely provoke ire...clearly, you are the former. The "poet" who penned 'Playing With Children' (again...never read it) is obviously the latter. I trust your judgment, Baby...if this is your response, then it is most likely a well deserved (and well written) response to somebody's deep, dark well of ignorance.

[Baby Ricochet]

It's all about the truth to me. Thank you for reading Burns Kimmer.

[Steven]

Yeah man, it's just not funny to bump a school bus.

[Baby Ricochet]

HA! Thank you for reading burns Steven

[Wakeofahero]

Well done bud. This describes the hell you've been through. I saw the crap yesterday, that piece he wrote is not worthy to be called such. I know everyone is entitled to their own opinion but I was sickened to read it. Love yah bud, and always have your back!

[Baby Ricochet]

THank you for reading Burns Wakeofahero

[JiDonnelly]

This is amazing!
I can't believe I seen this on news feed for soo long and never clicked.
I don't really know the ins and outs but what I do know is this piece is a masterpiece.

The ending is brutally perfect!!
Subbed man'

-Ji'

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you so much for reading Burns JiDonnelly.

[JiDonnelly]

The pleasure is all mine(:

-JiDonnelly'

[Destinyxi]

Good poem and damn good comeback.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Destinyxi and thank you for reading Burns.

[Destinyxi]

you're welcome, thanks for writing it. I couldn't have written a better piece about that stupid poem

[That_Guy]

Poetry wise, great flow and strong message. As always well done Baby R.

As for last night... such ignorant people.

[Baby Ricochet]

The guy that started the flame war with You, T. girl and Steven has no posted pieces. Not one. Definitely a troll.

[That_Guy]

Yeah I noticed. Ridiculous

[RachelReaper]

burning children? Well, that's certainly horrific beyond belief, who in the hell would write about that? ugh. What a sicko. Nice poem, though.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you for reading Burns Rachel.

[Revery]

This is intense beyond description and beyond raw reality. It has to be told so maybe somehow someway we call all stand up and say, s**t like that needs to stop. So deeply sad, children should not have to pay such a price.

[Baby Ricochet]

No they shouldn't. No one should. Thank you for reading Burns.