Choice of Enemies

enemy or safety - which is which?

Cool air on my skin.

Tears shed, chill my cheeks

 Coldness seeps into my core

Numbness invades my body and my mind,

Shutting down all feeling

Emptiness takes over

Desperation its companion

The ink of the night dark, deep is now my ally

The well of my consciousness

Hollow

Yet out here in the gloom is safety

The light in the window whispers of warnings

Of hurt, of betrayal

Mistakes, misunderstandings, misuse

Alone,

 I am safe

Let me shelter here for just a little while

Respite in my old enemies arms,

I cannot stay

I wish I could

It will end,

It will start again, a cycle

Relentless, unstoppable

I need to stop but when

Ink or light?

I cannot choose