Depression is winning

Depression is winning.
Sometimes I just get so sad, I stare at a blank wall and zone out..
It doesn't matter what you could say to me, because in that moment I don't exist.
Depression is winning.
I used to think the worst thing in life, would be to end up all alone..
It's not. The worst thing in life, is to be with someone who makes you feel all alone.
Depression is winning.
I'm in a constant battle with myself, depression is winning.
When you are at a point in your life, that you have nothing..
Why try. Why continue. Why let this terrible world bring you down more.
I feel like I'm in a constant battle with myself, to not commit suicide.
Depression is winning.
Sometimes I think, I think maybe if I just smoke one more cigarette, I'll get cancer.
I think maybe if I just drink one more drink, or do one more drug, I'll overdose and die.
I think, maybe if I just walk across the street, without looking, I'll get hit by a car.
Depression is winning.
When your world is so dark and empty,
it's like emotionally I am pained.
Mentally, I'm depressed.
Spirtually, I'm stressed..
Yet physically, you smile.
Depression is winning.
The level of depression when you world is so empty, that you are just so tired all day.
No energy.
Hardly an ability to get out of bed in the morning..
Depression is winning.
I feel like I'm in constant battle to prove my love,
To prove my worth,
To prove my fight is worth it in the end.
I feel like I'm in a constant battle, with myself..
I don't even contain the ability to even be "happy" around others anymore..
Depression is winning.
When the one person you love, doesn't ever want to be around you anymore,
when the one person you love, breaks your heart in so many unthinkable ways.
When you try to tell them what's bothering you, and they can never keep a promise to change and fix it.
Your desire to change, has to be greater than your desire to stay the same.
I'm losing this battle, depression is winning.

Reviews

[Daydreaming]

I'm not sure if this was written in actual life setting or not, but I do know that its a battle that a lot of people deal with in the world. It was a a nice vent write for sure. But there are always good things to happen in life :)