"Be careful with that Axe Matrushka"

                Endless lines. One after the other they all seemed to converge at one single point. He was lost and he knew it. For a moment a ridiculous thought of following the lines crossed his mind but he dismissed it. "Nah, I'd get there too late and she'd bite my a*s purple if I don't get there on time". He turned on the car and made a U turn, then stopped and made another U turn. "So if I'm lost, like really really lost, it doesn’t matter which direction I take, does it? I'll never get anywhere anyway and if she's going to give me a hard time with those teeth of hers I'd rather keep losing myself until she's old and die" His anger justified he turned the car 90 degrees and took of the road.

                At the beginning it was a strange feeling, abandoning the paved road to cross a corn field with a very old and junky car. After a few seconds he got used to the bumpiness of the road and started enjoying the ride. Since it was unlikely that any other driver would take the same path as he, he stepped on the accelerator until it got so bumpy that he almost knocked himself out when his car literally jumped a meter and landed as a rock on the corn field (his head landing on the steering wheel). At the landing moment when his head crashed with the steering wheel his foot slipped from the accelerator and the car was brought to an abrupt halt.

"That was... that was..." He was so excited that he couldn't even breathe.

He looked at his face on the mirror and barely recognized himself. He looked scared and smily, and he was sweating like a pig, no, like a dirty pig. "If she only knew, she'd definitely eat my brains, not that I care, last time she ate them she had some sort of indigestion which kept her from calling me in 2 weeks, 2 damn weeks, hard to believe" Not feeling particularly well after remembering that scene with her holding a crude axe on her hand, he opened the window to let some fresh air come in.

"Shakespeare, Satriani, Rousseaux and maybe Cat Stevens, yeap that might do it".

As he was about to turn on the car he saw an eagle circling around very high up in the skies. "No no no no no, that can't be good, I'd better find my way now". He turned the car on and started backtracking. Once on the paved road he remembered the way and headed to that direction. After a few minutes of mindless driving he started whistling the Beatles tune "Norwegian woods". He opened up a can full of hot beer and started sipping it slowly. He saw the house as he was taking his last sip. Same color, same fence, same neighbor, what did he expect? It was always like that, he knew he could change it but he dared not. Trying to burn a house is not an easy matter, and people can die you know, not if you warn them before though. He had his master plan but he was an inch short of being a coward in the arena of burning houses. He had tried once when he was small, burning his cat house, but the fire had spread to his jacket (his favorite) and he had never recovered from the loss.

"So I'm here, will the evil monster attack me?"

She came out of the house in a blue gown. She looked astonishing, as always, and she had that smile of hers as sweet as bee piss.

"Kiss me dear"

"Wh why, why should I? You're wearing that!"

"That? What do you mean by that"

"You know"

"I know?"

"Yes dear"

"Now you call me dear?"

"You're wearing that, I told you"

"I can take it off"

"You wouldn't"

"Watch dear'"

"Watching I am"

She slowly put her left hand inside her gown and started searching. She finally removed a small metal plate from her right b**b. The metal plate was about 3 inch square and looked plain and simple.

"Take it love"

"Like the last time?"

"Exactly"

"You think I'm a fool?"

"Prove me wrong"

But he was prepared this time. From his left pocket he retrieved a pair of handcuff  and skillfully handcuffed his left hand with her right hand. Then in the same movement he took what was left of the whiskey from his pouch and drank it all. She kept her cool and stared at him amused. He stared back and threw the whisky bottle which made a loud crash on the street, its form being shattered to hundreds of meaningless pieces.

"I'm ready"

"So you think this will be enough?"

"I'm pretty damn sure; I've been thinking this for a long time"

"Since when love?"

"Since you ate my brains"

"Good, then do it, but watch your feet you're wearing boots" - she said with a crocked smile.

"Oh dear, thank you" he replied innocently.

He knelt down and started taking his boots of in the middle of the street when he suddenly felt an icy and electric shock, like a lightning bolt crawling through his veins.

"DAMN you b***h you did it again!"

She smiled back at him and kissed him passionately. He after all, couldn't resist.

When the kiss was over he looked at the metallic plate lying on the ground next to him.

"So you threw it while I was kneeling, I didn't foresee that you know"

"I know love"

"It's naughty; I don't like being electrocuted like that, why do you do it?"

"I just have to try my inventions on someone, and you my dear, you are perfect for it"

"Why?"

"Because you have as much brains as a mushroom and you love me"

The sentence made him think and he sat down in the road dragging her down with him handcufs and all. He seemed preoccupied and for a few minutes didn't speak a word. They were both sitting in the middle of the road but they didn't seem to be worried at all, not many cars passed through there anyway, and if they did, well, it was probably better for both of them. His meditation over he looked intensely at her.

"Am I such an idiot?"

"I don't have to answer that, you know" she replied lowering her gaze to look at an ant that was starting to climb her blue gown.

"So it is obvious"

She nodded.

"I saw an eagle when I was coming"

"Gertrude?"

"Is she blue?"

She looked at the sky but saw no eagle. At the same time he took the metal plate with his left hand while touching the ground with his right and threw it to her. The scream was a pleasure to his ears. He felt a bit of the electricity coming back to him through the handcuffs but didn't care at all. He was drooling with emotion.

An icy cold stare tried to pierce through his smile but he was the winner this time.

"You too are an idiot you know, else, why like an idiot like me"

She didn't say a word, she only let her gaze fall on him while she recovered her smile.

"Sex, let's have sex, that shock, you know"

"Handcuffed?"

"Even dead"

"I won't come next week" he said with a serious face.

"Ok, you earned it, now let's go"

Author's Note

Non native English speaking author.
If you find any grammar (or sentence structure) problem please let me know, even if you point out only one sentence it will help me a lot. Thanks
Any other comments are welcomed too.

Reviews

[Blade & Blood (The ..]

Huh, that was quite a bizarre story. It reminded me a lot of an A7X song... "A Little Piece of Heaven", I think it was called.

Well, I thought this story is pretty neat. There was a lot I didn't expect and even more information that, I felt, was needed. Regardless, it carries itself as a great excerpt a part of a wonderful, bigger horror story!

Ironically Yours, Blade 3 Blood

[Yours Truly]

This was a very outre story.
Different than what I was expecting but not in a bad way.

[Rogelio Chavez]

Good story.