Shambles

In the dark
Lie shattered hearts,
Tired and ashamed.

Though they aren't yet broken,
They're shambled all the same.

Reviews

[Eggman]

Your rhymes are so natural, I envy you! I also think that you are very skilled at telling stories in a short space, and this poem is no exception for either. One thing, I feel that the last line could be more word efficient, and that this might aid the rhythmic antithesis of the poem: "Though they aren't yet broken" flows a little better in my opinion. Another interesting read overall!

-eggman

[BobM]

Thanks again, eggman! I think that you're right about your suggestion, and I'm changing the last line to reflect that.