Water Clock

attempted a really complex format; failed. since it's annoying to read, i have the original format underneath

 

You dot my i’s and cross my t’s and you are always so easy to please

you

spoons to gather the rain it might give me surcease from this

add

use                                 a phase But you’re              consuming

up

could               only      scared when I’m sober      fluid       pain

my

I             is             I’m                             Here        as       I

tab

only    fracture    but                            comes        water    need

and

if       this         myself                             the           and    to

call

brain        and      by                         plunge          fickle     prove

me

my         mine     go                           *Gurgle*          as    that

a

racking      are      can                   it’s                weather   what

cab

is             you           I                  over                 and       we

you’re

mind              that        together                         now       do

always

lunch               sign        down                          you        can

around

to                         a         go                      refuse       be

to

out                      need                 to               undone

make

my                             I                          with

me

and   love

complete

drain      the        circled     you    paycheck    my     like     just     but

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You dot my i’s and cross my t’s and you are always so easy to please

You add up my tab and call me a cab you’re always around to make me complete

But just like my paycheck you circled the drain

And my out to lunch mind is racking my brain

If only I could use spoons to gather the rain

It might give me surcease from this consuming pain

I need to prove that what we do can be undone with love

I need a sign that you are mine and this fracture is only a phase

But you’re fluid as water and fickle as weather and now you refuse to go down together

I can go by myself but I’m scared when I’m sober

Here comes the plunge now *Gurgle* it’s over

Author's Note

it's supposed to be read as a spiral, which requires reading it backwards on one line. i think you can kind of see that, but this text editor is on drugs so i gave up trying to make it perfect. if you have any suggestions about how to fix it, please let me know, and thank you for your review!

Reviews

[Sabine]

Your poem displays a nicely constructed visual layout. The "Gurgle" included in the poem's finish intensifies the sensation of movement. Sabine*