The Merchant

It's funny that I'm an adult now and I've found my way back here after all these years. Someone very close to me took their own life last week.

We are crawling from one day to the next

Our hooves hooked around each midnight

Each quadruple zero a bank of steady

Lynched, opera-hearted, beer-knuckled

Is how we operate our time.

 

Another offensive burgundy carpet,

The tables too high (my hooves will do the trick)

If a trickle-guzzle of gin and tonic were to trip

Down my sparkling spine,

I would not take offence.

 

And yet, it is not all embalmments or even,

Leaving the embalmment to the wind.

In the nectar of my heart, is a tiny twinge

Telling me to rest here, to unscrew my shoes and

Rest on your rest, wherever you rest, rest together

 

Here, we can sculpt new life

Like a dragon’s egg in an oceanic cave

Something totally unbeholden, present it to the world and

Prepare for their review: oh god. Oh god oh god oh god.

Christ.

 

There is nothing gorgeous to be found here,

And yet I think, with a matted blanket furled around my ears

I would much rather, be here, with you, and our dragon eggs

Disappointed by the grief of other people

Than without, for a million years.