Very Unhappy

School has been horrible lately because of band class. Band class has just been the worst class in the world. No one ever hears what goes on. I always heard the same thing every time I came into the classroom or during the rehearsal.

"She is a prostitute."

Or I would hear something on the lines of.

"She has an STD."

Or anything that would insult me. It would hurt me deeply and I would just take it. I would just let it keep happening to me everyday. Sometimes I would talk back. The kid that was talking crap would always say it to one of my friends. The kid always told me on the bus what the other kid has said about me.

This kid was always teasing me. I would be thinking about other things while this kid would talk about me. I would just be in my own little world while reading music. I mean I am in band class after all. My mind would just wonder from the room.

In band class I would say that I am always out of it because I would be thinking of jumping out the window and hurting myself. I would be bleeding and laying on the ground slowly dying. I would always think of that in class. Though this stuff stopped happening because it would start to bother me. In the beginning it didn't, but of course I was lying to myself even then. I would just feel bad for myself .

Knowing that my life would be horrible like this. Now that has stopped I seem a little happier, but that is all a lie because new stuff is going on in my life. That is why I am very unhappy right now.