Journey

Treading quietly through the woods,
We wander on our lonely paths;
So close your eyes, feel something flutter inside,
Spread your wings and take another flight;

Desperate we were in our search
Profane we became to the eloquent world
Disparaging the woods we continued to seek,
Clueless to what we really need;

Our minds clear with time,
As we learn how to rhyme;
Our feathers in unison, we fly high,
Compounded by purpose common in sky;

From wings of passion we seek our strength,
In the sea of ardor we dive to drenche;
Awed by the world's forbearance,
For the opulent space filled with reverence;

At last we come across the ultimate vision.
To know then it's the beginning not an end;
It would be soon with the demise,
Through the journey to our place precise

Reviews

[CountNicholasAlti]

As this is a poem utilizing rhymes, I think you should try to focus on a meter to improve the rhythm. Most of the rhymes were well done and not foreseeable. Also, the third stanza seems very weak as compared to the rest of them, I would suggest either scrapping it and starting anew or editing it.

[W. C. Forrest]

Thank you Nicholas. Whenever inspiration strikes. Your constructive criticism always welcome and helpful.