The last time I saw you

Your silhouette still standing
in my pupils, I cut
out my heart and carve
it into a bird house
since the pulse it once played
remains in the memory of our last kiss.

Your name is lodged in my throat--
                             take each letter away!
                             Leave me in silver,
surrounded by red.

Your silhouette in the kitchen window
as I'm led to the ambulance,


birdless sky,


fill me with song again.

Reviews

[Jack...]

Still the sadness flows my friend. Superbly done, but lonely. The desperate longing pours from this piece. "I cut out my heart and carve it into a bird house" hoping for someones return? you are very gifted my friend, happy or sad or somewhere in between, your words alwys make me feel as if I have been touched by the emotions of your poetry.

[eglantine]

Thank you, it was a very personal, emotional moment.

[Lily Finch]

I agree with Jack .. it's your second poem i've read..and feel sad... it's very sad and heart touching poem ..

[Emily B]

you are such a treasure, your poems are always so elegant, ethereal

I get to the end and have to wander back and find my heart and learn to breathe again

[eglantine]

Aw thanks lovely. I appreciate it.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

The sorrow of this is not what got to me, nor the aching, but rather the quiet discontent that is written in moments of brilliant wording and phrasing. You have an unorthodox form and a poetic voice that is all your own. I truly enjoyed this one.

[eglantine]

Thank you very much.

[Mark]

'In silver surrounded by red'... this work reminds me of a song by The Smithereens "Blood and Roses".

[eglantine]

I've not heard it, perhaps I shall youtube it

[Mark]

You should.

[Rahul]

Emotional write but deeply penned.
great job

[Richard]

it twists and hums and flows with a gentle rhythm which I can only imagine could come from what I assume is as gentle a person as yourself, and you're a real gem of a talent :)

Richie

[eglantine]

merci

[Richard]

Welcome welcome welcome

[ChemicalMadness]

Pure ache. Unadorned emotion. There are few who couldn't identify with this.

Thank you so much for continuing to allow glimpses into your world. Bring us close. We will stay.
CM.

[eglantine]

Thanks for reading CM.

[Caitlynn Cusick]

i havent known how to feel about my breakup until i read this.. this is exactly how i felt and still kind of feel today... even after three months that heartache still remains for me, but this speaks directly to that, giving words to those emotions i try to portray in my own poetry but fail... very very good.

[eglantine]

I'm glad you felt a kinship with it. Thanks for reading

[Clockwork]

I truly felt this one. The way you used the idea of the birdhouse is brilliant. It shows how grief hollows us out and empties our hearts of all else. I felt the gesture in the poem was so beautiful because it was an invitation. It called for someone or something to come along and fill your heart with music again and end the bitter silence of loss; it called for something or someone to expunge the musical syllables of that name from your throat.

I know this feeling very well. I felt this way when the woman I was going to marry ended our engagement. Much love and many hugs to you, my friend.

[eglantine]

:( oh, that's very sad, I'm sorry.

[Clockwork]

Its alright, it was all for the better in the end. By the way, I didn't mean to be distracting with that last personal tidbit. I can edit that out if it draws attention away from the piece.