Am I Next?

Losing yourself in another person who uses the word "love" as a way to control you makes it difficult to find yourself again

            I don’t want to be here.  There are too many rules.  Too many restrictions and wrongs.  The more I have to remember, the more I forget.

            The containment is horrifying.  It’s as if you’ve been ripped from a warm embrace full of love, and thrown into a violent, raging storm.  Your tears as heavy and poisonous as acid rain.  The feelings inside you build up and are released to create the strongest, most deafening thunderclap.  The signs telling you to turn and run show up as fast and bright as lightning striking the cold hard earth, and disappear in the same manner.

            My options too, fill me with thoughts.  Do I leave, or do I stay?  Will it get better?  Or will it bring me to join the faceless strangers?  The blank faces that hide so many fears and lies.  No one would think such a plain thing could be the hardest to figure out.  I look and stare only to find the same answer.  “Don’t turn out like me,” the faces scream.  Little do they know I’m already walking that path.

            Turning to run is now impossible.  The places I’ve been and the people I’ve met are just obstacles that have slowed me down.  Everything behind me has been swallowed whole by a giant mass of nothingness.

I can’t help but wonder…

 

Am I Next?