untitled 12409

hmm... i like this one. sad, but i like it. (:

early one morning

my head's not clear

i struggle for control

as i find you're not near..

 

the energy i was

has slowly died down

i forget what it's like to live

like there's no end..

 

i'd just say i'm stuck

in twelve four oh nine

but i don't have good luck

and i don't want to remind us

 

because i thought i was stranded

alone on the beach

you came along

and i knew what i needed

 

your soft kisses

the soft words that you said

now that it's gone i have to

look straight ahead

at a wall...

 

but now

 

i can still see the shadows

but it seems to me

the party is over

and everyone's gone

 

i wish i could say

that i wish i was sorry

that time wasn't kind

nobody

is saved

 

i know this is best

for me and for you

the truth is, the fire

should be gone

but it grew

 

the strength i once had

is the strength i possess no more

 

 

bring me back

back to your home

it just all seems so

very distant now

 

i want to see the room and

the look on your face

this life that we live

is just another pointless race

 

 

 

its true, and i'd stay

but i know that you'll leave

or at least that's what i

secretly want

or want you to say

 

i half-hope we're still before

twelve four oh nine

but that's what i secretly

want you to

say

...

Reviews

[LlamaLord]

the title has a very unique meaning. Wasn't expecting it at all. In these lines, I really felt power in the piece mainly because of well the flow was developed.
"i know this is best

for me and for you

the truth is, the fire

should be gone

but it grew"
It made me want to read more and more, then.. it ended. So i read it again. haha. Thanks for the read :D

[Andie]

"i want to see the room and

the look on your face

this life that we live

is just another pointless race"
quite cynical, but a great line...The poem reads really awkwardly (in a good way), like listening to a song in a minor key or looking at a gruesome picture that you really want to look away from. I think that's the best kind of poetry. Good job and thanks for the read