moonlight

Idrk what this is to be honest. I think what i want to get across is thar, even in the darkest of nights, even when the sun disappesrs, there is always something to guide us back to the light.

when the light fades to the blackest night,
when familiar smiles turn to scorning,
and the blazing sun stays out of sight,
will i last til morning?

and the trees that gave me their fruits,
now their branches loom overhead,
they trip me with their overgrown roots,
and their golden leaves are long gone and dead.

the river that shimmered like a million pearls,
now an dark watery abyss,
who am i but a scared young girl,
who got caught in clouds and is now lost in the mist.

but there is one presence who guides me,
it mightn't be as dazzling or golden oe bright,
but it casts its faint light so i may see,
the comforting glow of the pale moonlight.

Author's Note

Im no expert keep in mind but id love any constructive criticism if u wish.

Reviews

[CD Campbell]

I think you're off to a great start. Its stands pretty good on it's own, but you could tighten it up a little bit by capitalizing here and there and clearing that typo on "or" in L2 S4. The rhymes were great and I do like the overall theme of your piece. Great work!