I'm slowly teaching myself to stop making home out of people

Title: I'm slowly teaching myself to stop making home out of people because I can't afford anything but a fixer upper heart and I keep getting locked out when the front door jams.


Tonight I am sad.
Tonight I am lonely and the demons are screaming; I need you to hold me but the doors are locked and I don't know how to get back in all that is left is just to sit and spin waiting for you to let me in. 

I may love you with one part of my brain but the other says I'm an idiot and you have no idea how much I want to believe it not because I see it but because I've been wrong so many times before.
And I don't want to right this time.

Brick my brick I'm building the house I want to call a home. 
But you are more of a storm then a home and learning to love a storm is hard and broken, it's like drowning and breathing is not an option all you can do is suffocate. 

You tell me you'll change but I don't want you to change because if you acted differently than you wouldn't be the man I fell in love with and now I don't know how to handle these feelings.

Only if I could go back to when everything was simple, front porch step nights, fixer upper house we spend our lives making a home. 
But the honeymoon is over and I don't know how to get it back.  

I'm slowly teaching myself to stop making home out of people because I can't afford anything but a fixer upper heart.
I'm teaching myself to stop making a home in your heart when the square footage is smaller than me. 
I'm teaching myself brick by brick cement isn't strong enough to keep this home together through a storm.
I'm teaching myself, you are more than a home.
This is how I learned to love. 
This is how I re taught myself how to love.

Reviews

[Prantik Ali]

Wow!!!
I loved the lyrics of this poem!
Brilliant keep on writing!!! :) :) :)