hidding in my broken shell

I'm not perfect i never said I was I don't think I am and never will ,I'm truly broken inside . you never notice becuse I laugh I smile I fool around and I chatt like nothing's wrong. when inside I'm dieing I'm sensitive I'm broken I'm angry ,depressed and misserable. I always feel like crying I go throu so much and nobody really knows how much stress I have. you talk about your life like its so horrible and it drives me crazy, sure I act like I feel bad and I say sorry but that's becuse your my friend . while inside I just want to scream and shout and tell you to shut up!!
i don't exspress my feelings very well. I lash out and get in trubble ,soo much in school they are talking about alternative bad kid school when I really don't want to go . I tell people I'm fine when I'm hurt but I don't admit it,I'm scared tarifyed and I don't know what to do .you think it's funny to get in trubble and you want to or at least you act like it and it pisses me off I wish I could be good I don't know if you think it's cool to be bad or what but its not its s****y. you need to stop I'm hurting more than you can imagine and I can't deal with you stressing me out as well.nobody knows my pain nobody can feel it I don't wish it on anyone I'm done I truly am I don't feel like fighting the fire that they say I have may just start burning out .I thout I was as low as I could get but I am wrong I'm not scared to fall and om not scared to die I think I'm at my all time low.

Reviews

[I Am Svetlana]

No one can truly understand what feelings you go through since they aren't exactly "you", but they can do what they can to lend a hand and to help understand what you are going through at the time. Even the happiest people can have bad days and don't have perfect lives. Just know that you aren't alone with how yo feel most days...lonely, depressed, angry...all feelings I can relate to and go through nearly everyday. I get myself in trouble due to them. It's tough to open up to people cause you know they won't understand and won't know exactly what to say or how to say it. It's okay to be cautious when I comes to trusting people before you bring yourself to let your guard down...it takes more time for some than other, but I want you to know personally that I can truly relate to these feelings and experience them firsthand from morning through the day once the moon comes up. I'm here to lend an ear or to be a friend if ever you need someone to talk to...to understand. I wish you the best of luck.

[Wolfwind]

After reading the first piece of you, this second one brings to mind another piece of thought that I should share... "Sometimes people need a friend. Sometimes they need someone to listen. But...Sometimes the best thing is to speak to a friend, while listening to themselves. There are times that audible reflection of one's own emotions is better than just venting."
In a nut shell... You're as important as everyone else... So you should listen and care about your own thoughts and feelings as much as you do those you care about.

It's good not to wish pain on others....But remember....if friends are true friends, they will always be there to help shoulder your pain, while times are hard. That's why they say, when you need help, don't hesitate to ask.

Hope and light to ya!
Aaron - Wolfwind