Look at me

 

 

Come with me my darling, theres something you need to see

not the trees or flowers sweetheart, its more than that, its me.

Look into my eyes my love, tell me what you feel

Does the beating of my heart tell you that i,m real?

 

When i touch your gentle lips, do you want to cry?

Do you sink in soft white clouds, with my silent sigh.

Tell me how the world looks now when i,m in your arms

is it sun and rain and wind, turbulant and calm?

 

Together is a wondrous word, do you feel thats true?

Will you always see just us, never one but two.

Come with me my darling, and look beyond the sea

far away to paradise, but please will you see me?

Reviews

[Edward Carr]

I really like the idea of this poem, nicely romantic and with some eroticism though not in your face eroticism. I like the nature references, I guess because I too love nature. I am not a fan of rhyme though, as most contemporary poetry does not rhyme, there are a few exceptions however like Plath's Lady Lazarus and Daddy which are two great poems that I recommend reading if you like to rhyme from time to time. I still think you need to work on using more concrete nouns and less abstract nouns and use more sense imagery like colorful descriptive adjectives. I struggle with that also, but I notice poems that have those things are just better.

[Windy]

Great job emz, I really like this one. I liked the flow, rhyme, imagery just everything about it. I love the gentleness of it and the love. Going in faves. SUPER JOB SMILES ;)

[Edmond Dantes]

nice work here missy, it flowed great, and all the longing & questions made for a fantastic read. peace. jake.

[darkgurl]

Emotional write here, like how this is written.

[Poeticpiers]

A plaintive plea. some are incapable of seeing below the surface
I enjoyed the way you constructed your writing a regular rhyme pattern but little attention paid t meter the essential ingredient to kake your words flow smoothly ivor