You are unfair

You are unfair

A Poem by black.butterfly
"

poem, break up

"

If only I had been smart,
I would have known you cheated from the start.
So, take a look at my heart
and see how you tore me apart.
Here our love will depart

To think you would care,
about the memories that we share.
You are so unfair,
caressing her hair
at that very same chair.
It is a fire I cannot bear.

Now, to my own delight,
I am glad you will not even fight.
I am happy being alone at night,
for you are not a noble knight.
Just get out of my sight.

© 2011 black.butterfly


Author's Note

black.butterfly
Reviews are welcomed.
This is dedicated to every girl OR guy who have been broken by someone worthless. ^_^ It is not a personal experience, but feelings I have gathered from people who have gone through such a thing. So, I tried to express it as much as I can. Hope you like it.

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Reviews

Love it. You really did a great job!

Posted 9 Years Ago


This was quite nice, very straightforward and to the point! =D

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I really liked your use of rhyme-scheme. I also think you captured the betrayal and disgust that goes along with being cheated on. Good job overall. :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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JRB
feel your sad

Posted 9 Years Ago


i felt the emotion in this piece. very good

Posted 10 Years Ago


wow
wonderful piece
great use of emotions which wasn't your own
chillzxxx

Posted 10 Years Ago


Wow! I don't review poems very often. But I must say that I enjoy the flow of your words into the next. Good job!

Posted 10 Years Ago


I liked this, the angst come through loud and clear the fact that it isn't you which you give in the Arthor's Note isn't germaine to the poem the poem stands on it's own--- but is nice to know that you haven't personally felt the pangs of unrequited love.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Very nicely done. The only thing I had an issue with was the phrase "more smart". Maybe try "If only I had been smart". I don't know, just a suggestion. Still, very nicely done.

Posted 10 Years Ago


fantastic piece:)

Posted 10 Years Ago



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17 Reviews
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Added on January 14, 2011
Last Updated on January 30, 2011
Tags: love, poem

Author

black.butterfly
black.butterfly

somewhere in this world



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A Poem by black.butterfly



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