Hospital Smells

Hospital Smells

A Poem by eroticwings

Just a poem with rhyming.


Hospital Smells

Walk onto the hospital floor I wrinkled my nose, hopes no one will notice I was hidden in my artifical rose.

Smells of medicine, urine, and stool, mingle in the air, I hopes it won't stay in my hair.

Down to the end of the hall I quicken my pase, Into the hands to kiss the face.

Warm smile concern on my face, hopes of a early recovery in a race.

Words spoken tears held back, pillow plump against your back.

Roomates's bowels wrinkle my nose, time to take a walk up we rose.

Meal trays rush through the halls, today's chicken and roommate's bowels mingle in the halls.

Words of wisdom reach my ears, erases some concerns and fear.






© 2009 eroticwings

Author's Note

Be honest but be nice. Any kind of help is always appreciated.

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register


This is too real to be pretty.'
A hospital is just not a pretty place
and the smells and sights you describe
are absolutely true.
Thank you ,
----- John

Posted 8 Years Ago

it has great potential! just you seem to be ryming in an ABAB pattern its not wrong to do that by any means but dont sacrafise good words for a ryme its a great peice though,

Posted 9 Years Ago

This presents good imagery. It's an honest piece however there is one thing I don't quite understand: "I wrinkled my nose, hopes no one will notice" could be a simple grammatical mistake or typo, or I'm just not reading it right. Also I think pase is spelled pace :) but otherwise it's great!

Posted 11 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


3 Reviews
Added on September 22, 2009