Bellhop Jimmy

A disgruntled hotel employee gets his revenge on his rude guests

Bellhop Jimmy started his day out with a bang, literally. He was helping an old lady with her luggage to her room on the fifth floor, slogging her bags along carpeted hallways with a cheerful, obedient smile. It was just after eight in the morning.

   Getting to the door he opened it with his master key and graciously stepped aside, let the woman enter before him. Jimmy was a gentleman first and foremost. He brought her bags inside and set them beside the bed.

   “Will that be all madam?”, Jimmy asked. A model of propriety.

   Yes, yes…”, She said waving a  jeweled hand, dismissively.

   Jimmy stood there waiting expectantly until it was confirmed that no gratuity would be proffered. The woman just stared.

   “Was there something else?”, She asked.

   “As a matter of fact there is ma’am.”, Jimmy said, removing a large pistol from his tunic as he spoke.

   The woman just stood there insolent, as if to say ‘most inconvenient’ or something. Bellhop Jimmy shot her three times. He then left the room, quietly pulling the door shut behind him. In the hallways and other rooms no one heard a thing. The walls were thick and well built in this old hotel. Solid.

   “Rude old bat.”, Jimmy said under his breath. He walked to the elevator and rode back down to the lobby.

   Bellhop Jimmy stood back away from the check in desk at a respectful distance. He was a professional after all. When he was summoned by a subtle gesture from the concierge he appeared. He was a paragon of form and function. He played his part to perfection. Jimmy waited patiently for the signal to come as he knew it would. A young couple this time. Honeymooners from the look of them. Lots of luggage. He snagged a baggage cart and approached the nervous looking young man.

   “May I help you with your bags sir?”, Jimmy asked modestly. He was as humble as he was efficient.

   “Uh yeah, yes, thank you. Honeymoon suite please.”, The new husband stammered.

   “Of course sir, this way please.”

  To the elevator and up. Down plushly carpeted, dimly lit passageways. The honeymoon suite. Tenth floor, straight ahead. Jimmy could do it with his eyes closed.

   They got to the door and Jimmy opened it. The blushing bride first then the young groom. Jimmy followed them in with the baggage cart.

   “Just put the cart out in the hallway whenever you’d like and I will see to it.”, Jimmy said with a smile.

   “Thanks, thanks a lot.”, The man said, shaking Jimmy’s hand while pressing a bill into his palm. Jimmy didn’t look, didn’t care. That wasn’t the point. Not at all. He exited the room and made his way back to the lobby.

   The next one screamed ‘businessman’. He was alone and he was rude from the start.

   “Your bags sir?”, Jimmy asked him.

   “Four seventeen.”, The man said. Didn’t even look at Jimmy. His attention was focused on his phones’ glowing screen.

   “Of course sir.”, Jimmy said as the man handed him an expensive looking attaché case.

   They made their way to the elevator, Jimmy standing away from the man as they rode up to the fourth floor. The elevator stopped and the door opened. Down the hall to the right. To room four seventeen. Jimmy opened the door, stepped aside as he always did, and let the man enter first. Jimmy followed with the attaché in one hand while pulling the mans wheeled overnight bag behind him.

   Bellhop Jimmy stopped. Set the case upright, so the wheels didn’t touch the floor and turned to the door, closed it. He knew there would be no tip from this rude person.

   “Will that be all sir?”, Jimmy asked politely.

   “Wheres the bar?”. So predictable. Jimmy would bet that this man had a small brown bottle in his inside jacket pocket. It would be filled with a familiar white powder.

   “Mezzanine level sir, the elevator door opens to the lounge.”

   “Oh, okay.”. The man now had his back to Jimmy. He moved closer to the salesman. Surely that’s what he was. Jimmy had seen many like him.

   “Somethin’ else?”, the rude prick asked.

  “Yes.”, Jimmy said as he pulled a long thin dagger from his left sleeve. ,”There sure is.”

   The dagger slid easily and smoothly through the base of the mans skull. It came out of the man’s mouth and knocked out an expensive capped tooth as it did.

   The man said, ”Ulp!!”, and Jimmy laughed. The man fell to the floor, a bag of meat. Not quite so rude now, except for the mess on the carpet.

   Jimmy retrieved his dagger and wiped it on the rude jerks’ expensive pant leg. Put it back up his sleeve.

   “Betcha didn’t see that one comin’ a*****e.”, Jimmy said softly as he closed the door to room four seventeen. He made his way back to the lobby and resumed his post.

   The next two were nice, respectable. A middle aged widow he guessed, and a very ancient and proper old man. Both tippers. He showed them to their rooms and carried their bags. He let them live. It was now eleven o’clock. Lunch time.

   After a modest mid-day meal, Jimmy decided to switch things up a bit. He liked a little variety on occasion. Who didn’t? It is the spice of life after all.

   Bellhop Jimmy retrieved what looked to be a bottle of good red wine from his employee locker. It was a very special vintage. Jimmy would have to bide his time and wait for just the right moment. He was a patient guy though. He knew the right one would come along eventually.

   One did. Right before quitting time. The man who approached him had a road map of tiny little veins on his swollen and oily nose. This man liked his liquor. The acrid aroma wafted from the man in odiferous waves.

   Jimmy stepped to the man and asked, “Your luggage mister?”

   “Oh, um, sure, okay!”, The man said. He had a blue and white paper name tag that read [BILL]. Bill was a little man and even though it was not five o’clock he was at least a little tipsy already. Jimmy collected his bag and bade the swaying man to follow.

   Jimmy and Bill got off the elevator and made the left turn to the ‘business’ suites. They were cheap, small, utilitarian rooms with few amenities.

   Jimmy carried the little guys’ bag into the room and set it down. He produced the bottle of wine from somewhere and set on the night stand with a corkscrew beside it.

   “Compliments of the house sir.”, Jimmy said.

   “Oh, excellent! Thanks!”, The man said swaying noticeably. He seemed to somehow have become drunker as they made their way to the room.

   The thought of a tip, even a small one, never even crossed the drunk idiots mind. Jimmy figured this would be the case with this fool. It just never even occurred to him.

   Bellhop Jimmy left the obviously intoxicated lushes room and waited in the hall just outside his door. After a short interval he heard the snick and click of the corkscrew.

   The muffled vibration that rattled the door was the only sound the explosion made outside of the room. Jimmy used his master key and peeked inside.

   Bill, the rooms now very much deceased occupant, lay on his back on the floor. Both of his hands and most of his face were gone. The wine bottle bomb was truly Jimmy’s favorite and it was very effective. Bills lower jaw had come to rest on top of the unused bed, tendrils of flesh and maybe some muscle clinging to it. One of his eyes, curiously intact, lay on the floor by his right foot. Awesome. Perfect. A large splatter of blood and bone and brain decorated the ceiling above where Bill had been standing when the bomb went off. Jimmy smiled. What a day he’d had!

   Bellhop Jimmy made his way back to the lobby, walked to the employee locker room and punched out for the day. He walked out through the lobby and outside into the summer heat under a blue sky. He pulled out a small wad of bills, exactly half of what he had made that day. He dropped the bundle into the guitar case of the blind veteran that was always present on the corner.

   His wife would have dinner ready for him soon. His daughter may need help with her homework afterward. He walked to the bus stop on the next block and it was just coming to a stop as he arrived. He hopped on, smiling hugely, and found a seat. He pulled out a paperback book and began to read.