Like a very small and helpless human-being.

An act of betrayal by someone I trusted

He lived on our block. And he was way cool.

Big man. Big beard. And funny.

And best, he had bikes. Big shiny motorbikes

On lonely Saturday mornings I would hang out with him

As he fixed and washed his bikes. A Saturday ritual

And I was his apprentice. His acolyte. 

I handed him his tools and held the water hose.

One hot morning he said to me "Lemonade?"

"Sure," I said.
"It's in the fridge," he said, pointing to the door in the back of the garage

"I'll be right in," he said

I had never been in his house before

And it didn't feel like something I should be doing.

My parents had rules. The first was No Bike Rides, of course.

But not going in his house? Was it a rule? I didn't remember

His house was cool. I sat at the kitchen table drinking lemonade.

I heard the door open and close and he was standing behind me.

"How's the lemonade?" he asked.

"Good," I said.

He ruffled my hair. A friendly thing, I told myself, that grownups do all the time.

And then his big warm hands were inside my shirt. This was definitely against the rules.

It's funny. You think that when this happens you struggle and yell and run.

But you don't. You feel dizzy and helpless. You feel like there's an inevitability to this.

Seven houses down the block my parents and sister and my cat were carrying on their Saturday morning lives.

He stood me up and led me to his bedroom and closed the door.

After he was finished he stood up. I lay on the bed with my eyes shut. 

I did not know what I was supposed to be doing. 

He handed me my clothes and before he left the room he said "sorry."

I stood up and I hurt and the room spun.

As I was leaving he stood in front of the door.

He told me not to tell anyone

He told me no one would believe me

He told me bad things would happen.

I pushed past him and walked home

Reviews

[John the Baptist]

This is a truly horrifying story. If it is really autobiographical, I hope you were able to get help. I also hope the b*****d got his due.