Why Me??

    Why Me??

Sitting alone by weeping heart
Feeling dead deep inside
I don't want to talk
I don't want to smile
I don't even want to cry

Having tears just for me
That are invisible to all others
But can anybody hear me deep down?

This lady is broken deep down
Weeping heart roaring loud
Why are things happening to me this way
Why to me all the time?
Am I wrong to you all?
Or is wanting happiness, not right?

If the questions I ask are so hard to believe,

Why then to me, do such answers always go?
Why always?

~AK~ 

© Eve Ola 

Reviews

[KWP]

ahhhh - i think we have all been there

this one punches right where it hurts - you can feel it

well done x

[Penny]

Very profound and thought provoking piece. Reminded me of my bad times. Can truly relate to it. Well done.

[Coyote Poetry]

A deep sadness in the words.
"This lady is broken deep down
Weeping heart roaring loud
Why are things happening to me this way
Why to me all the time?"
Sometime hard to understand why we can't win. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Eve Ola]

Thanks gor stopping by Coyote, I do appreciate

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome my Poet Friend.

[Sophy Freebirds]

Ahh hell! ! Why me?? We ask it everytime we are disappointed and depressed. Every person out here is gonna relate to it. This poem is penned from your heart. It touched me... welll done dear :)

~Sophy

[Eve Ola]

Thank you Sophy

[kublakhan27]

I can only say that I relate to every line of this, and ask myself all of these questions virtually on a daily basis...it almost does feel selfish to want happiness at times when you're as depressed as this piece suggests...a truly moving piece that genuinely spoke to me...well done Eva.

[Eve Ola]

Glad I wrote something that you relate too. Thanks

[Ashira Macy]

A question that each and every person has asked at least once in their lifetime. I used to ask it all the time, but I started feeling like there was no point in asking it anymore. No one was answering. I really liked this though, very easy to relate to and wonderfully illustrated.

[Eve Ola]

Thanks for the feedback Ashira

[Miss Owl]

Why me? That question of pain, disappointment and hurt, I think probably has no real answer.
A very emotional and well done poem.

[Eve Ola]

Thank you dear

[Miss Owl]

You're welcome.

[Kurayami]

After reading your kind poems, I feel like that maybe you can work on the poems that are negative based like this one.

~Kurayami

[Eve Ola]

yeah negative these days

[Susan Beth Horvath]

The first line reads somewhat odd to me.....I'd possibly rework it. This sounds a bit like a private pity party...which we all have from time to time...it's nice you got your feelings out

[Eve Ola]

Thanks Susan

[Christopher Robin]

Hey Eve, we all get a little down sometimes, I think this is a good example of what many people on this site need to learn: when to keep things in a personal diary, and when sharing something publicly comes off as another cry for attention.

If I recall correctly English is not your first language, allow me to correct this prose for you as it is quite a good piece, but a few simple errors let it down.

1. 6th line "As having tears..." - 'as' in this sense is an implication, which requires what you imply to be in the next line, due to the grammar, this doesn't occur and both lines make no sense, though I understand what you're trying to say. 'That's' is used incorrectly also, it doesn't even need to be there to capture the meaning. Perhaps a better way to phrase this would be:
'Having tears just for me
Invisible to all others'

2. Lines 8 and 9, you have a repetition of 'down' at the end of each line, whilst it might be intention it makes the prose halting. Suggestions: either remove the second 'down' and keep
'This lady is broken'
which conveys the same message, or if you're really set on using 'down' twice, give the second one purpose from the first, for instance:
'But can anyone hear me deep down?
For this lady is broken deep down' or something to that effect.

3. Line 11 "Why things happening to..." is a grammatical error. Try
'Why are things happening to me this way?'

4. Line 13 "Am I wrong with..." is technically grammatically correct in a given circumstance, but here i think it has been lost in translation, I believe you mean to say:
'Am I wrong to you all?"

5. Line 14 "Or wanting happiness..." This is technically correct again but a weak arrangement of the question, a more correct or powerful way to phrase this could be:
'Or is wanting happiness not right?'

6. Line 15 "Then why to me?" I understand the strong ending you are going for here and it's close but you've got 4 questions in a row and no statements or answers to give them weight. A statement before your final question could really drive this home, especially if it were rhymed. Here's a suggestion for something to replace your final line and to give more sense to the other questions:
'For if the questions I ask are not truly so,
Why then to me, do such answers always go?'

or

'If the questions I ask are so hard to believe,
Why then is silence the answer I receive?'

See how a statement thrown in there gives meaning and purpose to your questions? Question after question does not engage the reader, it comes off as complaining and I know that is not the aim of this piece. Do whatever you like with my suggestions, I'd really love to unearth the greatness sitting just beneath this piece of prose.

-Robin

[Eve Ola]

Thank you so much Robin :)