Last Foever

NaPo #8

She took everything

And she gave it a star

She wanted t make it

Last forever

She wanted to be able to see it forever

and never let it leave her sight

 

Every time the sun sank

and the moon rose

it stars following close behind

she'd be reminded

of it all

the good

and the bad

She would see everything that

made her into who she was

 

And when she felt it wasn't worth it

She'd search that star

And find a reason of why it was.

 

She put it all in a star....

Author's Note

Short and quick. I like the message but i gotta work on the content. Any advice?

Reviews

[Wingless Angel of Dream..]

i like it alot. like u said the message is there n strong. but it gets confusing. i think the terms u use to say what she does involving the star is what threw me off. but like i said i really like it. but it confused me. i feel repetitive. i really liked it... ok i'll stop now

[Drakana Wind]

It leaves me kinda confused. I think I have the idea of the poem, and if I do, I like it, but I'm not sure if I'm right. What'd she take? What kind of star (literal or figurative)? At some points, you used "it" too much and that kind of makes things bleary if you don't always know the antecedent.

I think I like it, I'm just not sure because of my confusion.

[Lexi Nicole]

It's so pretty