August 1st

The leaves swoon the ground as the cold air grasps the nightly morning. The woman sits on the park bench with a purse dangling off her left shoulder. She is paralyzed by her empty thoughts as the swing in front of her creaks with a gentle push from the wind. “It’s too cold to be out here. Too cold to feel anything.”  The chilly air sparks a memory in her mind about her childhood. The park transforms into a forest. A little girl giggles and wiggles her body as she chases a wild bunny carelessly in the meadow. The wild bunny dives into the pool of tall grass as the little girl creeps up at the bunny hovering over it until the bunny jolts towards the distance. The little girl follows in pursuit. Joy suddenly vanishes as she realizes she has wondered into the forest and the bunny has disappeared too. She is lost now. She is scared. She is lost and she is scared and there is no path to bring her back, no light to follow. The little girl scans her surroundings in the thick constricted forest. Fear infuses a moment of curiosity as the girl directs her gaze up to the forest top. The trees huddle together to block sun and wind from entering their vicinity. The forest is empty, the forest is soundless, the forest is nothing, the forest is peaceful. Her head follows the movement of her hands dropping down to the forest bedding to stroke the grass. It breathes between her fingers, and yet it has no motion of its own. How is it alive with no motion? The little girl takes a deep breath before her feet give into the temptation of immersing with the soft grass. She calmly reenacts the movement of her hand that the grass followed, repeating herself over and over again. The vivid memory fades away and woman is left consulting her thoughts looking at the park where her forest stood once. “How did I find my way out of the forest?” the woman murmurs. Molded to the bench the women tries to dig deeper into her memories finding no answer in return. She found herself only mesmerizing at the little girl’s state of love for the dark forest. “I want that feeling back, it’s the only thing I want” the woman tilts her head up to gaze at the swing. The wind still pushes the lifeless swing still creaking at the touch of air. “It’s not the same, nothing ever is.” She looks up at the wide sky to search for the familiar darkness as she had once saw when she was a little girl. But the darkness has changed its form. The darkness before was cold but forgiving, even the chills it gave the little girl had warmth. The darkness now is frozen and lifeless, and cruel and miserable. A tear trickles down the woman’s face and soon is followed by the flow of salty stream. The woman cups her hands together and sees it flood up. “Feeling nothing is better.” She breaks the chain of tears to grab the purse by her shoulder. “Feeling nothing is better.” She scavenges the purse finally gripping onto cold metal. “Feeling nothing is better.” She directs the cold metal towards the temple of her head. “Feeling nothing is better,” she repeats one last time before she falls into darkness.   

Reviews

[Nelson E. Rolon]

Wow, this is pretty surreal, quite poetic. Good job.

I'm a bit confused about why the woman is feeling so depressed, enough to presumably harm herself. Nostalgia seems involved, finding her way through the forest as a child being compared to whatever moment she is unable to escape from as an adult. But I don't know what the conflict is, what this pain she has is about. I certainly understand what it's like to be depressed in a general sense, but even so, is there a way to clarify why your character feels the way she does?

[Farheen]

This is my first time publishing one of my short stories which is a bit nerve racking but I would love some feedback so I could get better. Hope you all find the story intriguing :)