Don't you see me?

I don't think you see me from across the waters,
I'm deeper than I used to be,
A murky lake of sorrow.

My outfit aligns most perfectly with my skin,
I know you'd see me if you looked
but you're oh so far away, breath of mine.

My sight occurs like tiny bursts of metallic melodies,
Oh, it's brighter than it used to be, love.
Come join the waters and be like me,
your absence has been a lack of convenience,
so tell me, from across the way, from deep inside,

Don't you
Don't you see me anymore?

Reviews

[KatiePie]

This really amazed me. I could feel your aching in my chest. They way you portray your emotions leaves the reader wanting to read more, and yet wanting the pain to end it's a pool of mixed emotions. Truly gorgeous piece. (:

[vandana]

nice poem !

[[untitled]]

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[Just Me]

Flowed really well. Sorry this is so short. I'm kinda tired right now but.... I really liked it. Great write!

[Brette Medb]

I liked the imagery in this piece. It was very dark and melancholy. Wonderful poem.


B

[Coyote Poetry]

Sometime we can feel invisible. I like the emotion and the desire of this poem. I like the question at the end. The flow and language made the poem a pleasure to read. A outstanding poem. Thank you.
Coyote

[Judy Ponceby]

beautifully penned. i see you :)

[Ashley]

This reminds me of a lot of stuff in general but it's like so put together in words.

[compositionc]

Such a wonderful piece of poetry.
I love it.