Forgotten

A true story of a best friend of mine, lost in so much.

This girl is loved by all, but not loved of herself.

Her mind is twisted at times, but sweet and kind in heart at the same moment.

She hates herself, but loves others.

The destruction that she brings upon herself, attempts to erase the existence of her self-worth in the wrold.

Lies, deceit, and misunderstanding surround her, and the morbid hole that grows deeper as life prevails, swallows her up.

Sadness leaves a mournful trail of sorrow.

Ignored by many, sought by few; her life is like an open book, but that book only destroys what life she has yet to live.

She tries harder, day by day, to regain her footing in life; to be accepted but not over run with critism by others.

1 day she tried to run from life, quick and easy, but life threw her right back into the middle of it all.

It was a rude awakening, and one she needed.

Her running will only stop when her mind has changed its main ideals.

Her steps back into this life are slow, but firm.

People look at her differently, ignoring the truth of the matter at hand.

This only strengthens her to press forward, and prove tham all wrong.

She leaves education to beg for work in the world. Her own enemies are the things that pull her down, but she throws them off. Her life truly begind, not too soon, but not too late.

Author's Note

Tell me what ya think....its kinda of a bit shaky, but it s my first piece up

Reviews

[MusicMartyrs]

this brings back junior high memories...i had a best friend like you describe i would've done anything to convince her that she was an amazing girl just the way she was..sad but powerful, good job

[Lyra H]

I like this, it really has an interesting flow. Welcometo WritersCafe

[Lee Tran]

Should be in Prose, since it reads as one....

You have the feelings down and it's pretty solid, but this reads as a rough draft that definitely will need some work. Order, structure, and vocabulary is the key for a solid poem. I see some lines that can be omitted since it repeats itself in some ways. Read some other people's poetry to get an understanding of how structure is formed and how artistic you can get with yours. :)

You might want to keep the lines shorter. Each line to two lines should contain the message, and not be long. It can get confused as a short story.

I feel like I am reading an opening line to a good story. You have an interesting idea on what is happening to the main character. Would like to see the direction for her.

[Erin]

Omigosh....I'm not just sayng this but I love it. It reminds me of myself last year, I was really insecure and was nice on the outside but hated myself. Wow, this was really cool. Write more I really enjoyed it.

[Paige Hensel]

wow, this is great.