You Don't Know What It's Like

PREGNANCY LOSS AWARENESS

*** This is a Pregnancy loss Poem that is quite long. I wanted to warn ahead of time in case of triggering topics!****

You don't know what its like 

To have millions of dreams for the future

and then have them ripped away from you 

all in a blink of an eye.

You don't know what its like

to love a tiny human you haven't even met yet

just to have to say goodbye

before you even said Hello. 

You don't even know what its like 

To give birth to your child

just to hear "she's gone"

and cry like your heart has been ripped out. 

You don't know what its like 

to go home with empty arms

when all you want to do 

is cling to your child. 

You don't know what its like 

To never hear their first cry

or laugh, or see their first smile 

or hear their first "I love you mommy/Daddy".

You don't know what its like 

to feel like you failed your child

when they needed you the most

and hear the words "there is nothing you can do"

You don't know what its like 

to hold your child's urn and sob

Sob for the life you never met

sob until there are no more tears left

You don't know what its like 

to wake up in the middle of the night 

from a horrible nightmare

only to realize it's actually your new reality

You don't know what its like 

to feel like there is a hole in your heart

that doesn't seem to ever heal or lessen 

but seems to grow deeper with each breath.

You don't know what its like 

to be jealous of the people around you 

Holding and showing their newborn babies

and Screaming "ITS NOT FAIR!"

You don't know what its like

To be told "GOD HAD A REASON"

and wanting to scream 

"You're god must be cruel to want my child dead!"

You don't know what its like 

To be stuck in so much pain 

and watch the world around you move on

Terrified you're child will soon be forgotten by them.

You don't know what its like 

to be so Terrified to talk about them 

because you don't want to make others uncomfortable 

But it pains you deeply to be silent

You don't know what its like 

to wake up each morning knowing

your baby is no longer with you,

that you have to keep going on without them

And if you know what it is like 

 I am so Terribly Sorry for your pain

No one and I mean NO ONE

Should have to go through this pain. 

I wouldn't even wish it on my worst enemy

Author's Note

To my Daughter Carole Jean who was born sleeping exactly three months ago today on 5/26/17. Born too early at only 5 months of my pregnancy. I love you babygirl Now and forever!!

ALSO! I am NOT bashing anyone's belief with the line "Your god must be cruel to want my child dead!" I was very angry and was angry at all the higher powers for taking my child away from me. I am very opened and respectful when it comes to Religion. Everyone has the RIGHT to believe in what makes them happy :-D

Reviews

[John the Baptist]

Some hurts are too deep to be dismissed. Some tragedies are beyond explanation. Some wounds never heal entirely. The only consolation is that they can be eventually put in perspective, so that all of life is not tainted by them. Good luck to you.