You Don't Know What It's Like

You Don't Know What It's Like

A Poem by Fenix Flight
"

PREGNANCY LOSS AWARENESS

"
*** This is a Pregnancy loss Poem that is quite long. I wanted to warn ahead of time in case of triggering topics!****


You don't know what its like 
To have millions of dreams for the future
and then have them ripped away from you 
all in a blink of an eye.

You don't know what its like
to love a tiny human you haven't even met yet
just to have to say goodbye
before you even said Hello. 

You don't even know what its like 
To give birth to your child
just to hear "she's gone"
and cry like your heart has been ripped out. 

You don't know what its like 
to go home with empty arms
when all you want to do 
is cling to your child. 

You don't know what its like 
To never hear their first cry
or laugh, or see their first smile 
or hear their first "I love you mommy/Daddy".

You don't know what its like 
to feel like you failed your child
when they needed you the most
and hear the words "there is nothing you can do"

You don't know what its like 
to hold your child's urn and sob
Sob for the life you never met
sob until there are no more tears left

You don't know what its like 
to wake up in the middle of the night 
from a horrible nightmare
only to realize it's actually your new reality

You don't know what its like 
to feel like there is a hole in your heart
that doesn't seem to ever heal or lessen 
but seems to grow deeper with each breath.

You don't know what its like 
to be jealous of the people around you 
Holding and showing their newborn babies
and Screaming "ITS NOT FAIR!"

You don't know what its like
To be told "GOD HAD A REASON"
and wanting to scream 
"You're god must be cruel to want my child dead!"

You don't know what its like 
To be stuck in so much pain 
and watch the world around you move on
Terrified you're child will soon be forgotten by them.

You don't know what its like 
to be so Terrified to talk about them 
because you don't want to make others uncomfortable 
But it pains you deeply to be silent

You don't know what its like 
to wake up each morning knowing
your baby is no longer with you,
that you have to keep going on without them

And if you know what it is like 
 I am so Terribly Sorry for your pain
No one and I mean NO ONE
Should have to go through this pain. 
I wouldn't even wish it on my worst enemy

© 2018 Fenix Flight


Author's Note

Fenix Flight
To my Daughter Carole Jean who was born sleeping exactly three months ago today on 5/26/17. Born too early at only 5 months of my pregnancy. I love you babygirl Now and forever!!

ALSO! I am NOT bashing anyone's belief with the line "Your god must be cruel to want my child dead!" I was very angry and was angry at all the higher powers for taking my child away from me. I am very opened and respectful when it comes to Religion. Everyone has the RIGHT to believe in what makes them happy :-D

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Some hurts are too deep to be dismissed. Some tragedies are beyond explanation. Some wounds never heal entirely. The only consolation is that they can be eventually put in perspective, so that all of life is not tainted by them. Good luck to you.

Posted 2 Years Ago



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Added on August 27, 2017
Last Updated on May 3, 2018

Author

Fenix Flight
Fenix Flight

Kingdom Of Amythest, ME



About
Please Call me Fenix (Fen-nicks) (The FEN is pronouced the same way you would pronouce the FEN in Fenway) its more my name then the one I was given at birth. I wont put my life story here. You will se.. more..

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