Tears DO Fall

You know that feeling you get right before you cry? You know, that feeling that gets you every time you're saddened? It settles in your chest like a lion, waiting to prounce on its prey. Every single day I have this feeling. This feeling of depression has stuck with me. There may be many reasons that caused it. I do not know what, but something struck me, and it struck me well hard in the head.

Lately, I've been fairly interested in a 27 year old man. His name is Ty. I don't know much about him, other than he wants me. He wants me bad. Ty has put me through much hell. It's almost as if he finds things to fight about with me. Here I am, a clueless 13 year old, fighting with my 27 year old "partner". Am I crazy? Or is it him? I feel depressed. I broke up with him or separated. I can't call it breaking up because we weren't technically together, but, something went on between the two of us. Lately, he has been almost as fed up with me as I have been with him. For some reason, he actually encouraged prostitution. He told me that if I was going to use my body in any way like that, and there was absolutely no feeling between me and my partner, that I should at least get something out of it other than the mere pleasure. I almost had a heart attack when he told me that! I wouldn't have any relations with someone that I didn't care for in some way! He's been so frustrating. It's like, I can't live without him, though. We haven't been talking lately. In fact, when I don't talk to him, I feel like I'm going to die.

Maybe, I should die...