My First Time

 

It is my birthday and I am wearing

the same clothes

as yesterday

I don’t feel twelve

but I haven’t

in a long time

 

and I don’t feel thirteen either.

 

I help her pull my jeans

over my bruised pelvis

she pulls the zipper with her teeth

and I am bare-legged, now--

Now I can feel

the biting air

of October

 

here--

the splinters in my feet

and the cold iron

of the door hinge

against my calf.

f*****g in a railcar

is what I think about

not her vicious mouth

and what it is doing

down

there

 

I'll fake an orgasm.

if she knows

she isn't telling

don't kiss me

with my bitter taste on your

lips

Reviews

[Jennifer]

Very vivid imagery. I agree with Leah, I was thinking the same thing. But, I actually think that it makes sense. When you are young and it is the first time, you actually don't have very many words to describe anything.

[Leah T]

powerful. "it is my birthday....thirteen either" and "i concentrate...down / there" are really excellent. a couple notes: in the second stanza, i can't visualize the first four lines - what's the order of these events? bare-legged precedes her pulling the zipper down? also in the last stanza, i think you can cut "soon"

language is beautiful as always, i especially love "i help her pull my jeans" because she's not just doing it, you're helping her.