Goodbye My Love, Goodbye To You

Leaving someone who lacks to give you more.

I'll think this quietly and it will never pass your mind

I'm going to leave you, I think it's time

 

Goodbye my love

Goodbye to you

 

I know you'll never tell me not to leave

Beg to me please

Cry out to me and make my stay

Make me be with you everyday

Unpack my bags and cry on my bed

Tell me to stay and don't mess with my head

 

Goodbye my love

Goodbye to you

 

I love you and I hear nothing back

Not a sound, not a whisper

Passion and truth is what your heart lacks

If you come to me, then I'll stop every thought

Everything you gave to me is in a box by your door, everything you bought

 

Goodbye my love

Goodbye to you

 

I thought you wanted happiness and enjoyment in your world

Maybe it all left your train of thought, maybe you were bored

Did I bore you?

Were your eyes getting heavy as you dragged through?

Did your light give out in a bulb labeled me?

Was my grip holding you too tight and you wanted to break free?

 

Goodbye my love

Goodbye to you

 

Maybe I'll come by your smile again

Seeing that beautiful smile, I don't know how long it's been

I'll leave you no kisses, I'll leave you no letter

Maybe when I'm gone that smile will get better

 

Goodbye my love

Goodbye to you

 

I'll wipe my tears and start my car

My body will be gone but my heart won't be too far

 

Author's Note

:( I have a head ache...

Reviews

[stipe]

I'm not so sure hey... Maybe I'm too much of a guy and this is too much of a chick poem, um please don't get offended, I'm just being honest about my experience of it. I can't seem to latch on to any rhythm in it at all. Some lines seem a bit long, with words they don't need. But perhaps I'm just seeing it the way I might write it. You do good work! and a lot of it too,

[Rose Kelly]

aw, such a sad poem.

This is very good! I liked how it flows. The whole repeating of goodbye my love, goodbye to you is very good! Great poem!

[Nesha]

WOW...Gripping...Love, Love, Love...

Love can be so beautifully, wonderfully, disastrous. Love is complicated. You captured all of this with each verse in your poem.

Cheers ;)

-Nesha

[Kara Emily Krantz]

this is my favorite of yours so far. it has a lot a LOT of potential. i found it to be your most.. thoughtful, and indepth piece, and well as your most professional. it was more than just thoughts on the paper. loved that.

"I'll think this quietly and it will never pass your mind
I'm going to leave you, I think it's time"

that was realy great right there.

"I'll leave you no kisses, I'll leave you no letter
Maybe when I'm gone that smile will get better"
what a sad thought, but sometimes... we DO feel that way.. that maybe it's us... and they'll be happier without us...

"Goodbye my love
Goodbye to you"

the repetition worked really well throughout

"I'll wipe my tears and start my car
My body will be gone but my heart won't be too far "

LOVE that ending. your best ending to date (i'm big on endings lol)

yayyy! hugs

[[untitled]]

This is great! It has emotions behind the words. I love how its almost like a song. The structure worked well. A lot of power and depth! Great work!

[a Messenger]

Very nice Erin. A lot of painful emotion smoothly and beautifully expressed.
As always, a great job.

[Bhavya Kaushik]

Oh! this is such a sweet write!
Very emotional and full of raw feel!
I loved the way you repeated the line-
"Goodbye my love
Goodbye to you"
This actually enhanced the flow of entire piece and thus made it linger!
Nice write :)

[justjenn_2u]

I see strength in these words, girl! Saying goodbye is never easy, I know how hard it is. You didn't say these words expecting empathy just showing that you are a woman of worth. Kudos to you, my friend.

[forfila]

Awwwee Erin, it is so sad, your such a pretty girl, no one wants to see any tears run down those cheeks. This was a great write on the other hand..

Love
Me