You're So Pretty

They say Lizzy you're so pretty I say thanks but don't say that please.
This me is not me.
They don't know me
They don't know who I am who I've been or who I will be.
These laughs and jokes are merely just a mirage of what's killing me.
I've been dying inside since I was three.
From mommy telling me I'm not pretty to daddy saying eat more and be free.
I ate and ate and ate and ate and ate until I didn't feel a thing.
I became the size of two me's.
Until one day I realized that eating was the one thing killing me
It was once my favorite thing and now I couldn't even look at a single thing of cheese
Pretty
I starved and deprived myself that once made me free
Pretty
I stopped eating food and started eating words
From hate to ugly to why are you fat
That word I hate the most next to fat was chubby.
It was all the same to me.
I discovered a new miracle thing
It's called sticking your fingers down your throat and letting everything be
free.
Pretty
I became this word skinny but that wasn't enough for me
I felt like a ballon not free and floating but chained and heavy
I realized that something's weren't
enough for me.
Pretty
My skin went from flawless to bloody
My arms they became cutting boards to try break the chains that were holding me
My body was eating itself from the inside but I let it get a taste of the outside
Like honey to bees my body craved the need to demolish my self being
Pretty
I couldn't help but let it be
The pain was unbearable and I wasn't the same
Days felt like years and I was getting nowhere to who I was before I started killing me
I felt like I was dying and that I would soon be dead
But the fact of the matter is I've been dead since those words that were said to me
You're so pretty

Reviews

[Jamestown]

Wow! Very raw powerful piece of writing! I pray you really do understand that you are
pretty in the Lords eye and honestly that's all that matters! Life is a tough but
I hope you will find peace, cause it's out there even when you can't
see it,thanks for sharing your amazing poetry and keep writing!PTL

[nazia]

Everyone is pretty. you just need to understand that you are no less.. A thought provoking piece of work which made me think about the kind of artificial world we are living in..
Keep writing :)