thanks to he who cleans up my messes for i am rather messy and he doesn't complain hardly

this is old: originally posted at http://allpoetry.com/poem/6773467 at: Sep 4 5:17 PM 2010

 

 

 

 

they asked me to help,
and then changed their minds half through asking.

they heard the shaking voice,
and probably the shaking hands and instead called him,
knowing he would be the only one to save me in this state.

i think it scares him, though,
to realize how fragile i am sometimes.

i want him to know all different sides of me,
but i wish i wouldn't expose him to the weak so often...



i didn't think about it even, then, though.

later i did, and was ashamed of myself,
but not then,

then, all i did was cling to him,
cry on him,

and answer his fearful questions.



had i been drinking?



but he knew, of course,
clotted voice, stirred 'round and lumpy against my lips,
not to mention those half-hid bottles beneath my bed,

there was no question.

folded up against myself,
arms wrapped tight around my legs,
so as to keep myself from breaking.
or, breaking further.

i thanked him and his comforting arms by leaning into him
and mumbling obscenities about a headache.



why had i been drinking?



no.
that wasn't the question either.
he knew that too, like he always did.

bright to the point of blinding.
and soaked in intuition.
all this potential wasted...

i don't understand it.



you don't need to keep doing this, you know?



his voice was shaking.

i would've kissed him,
had i had something to drink since losing last night's supper
on the bathroom floor earlier,
i would have sooner.

as it was we just sat there, leaning and being weary with eachother.

until i felt the need to answer the question
that had long since faded into the silence.

it was almost forgotten.



"it's either this or not feel anything at all."



lips brushed together in the dark,
he tasted of cola-flavored chapstick.

as always.

 

 

Reviews

[Sherbs Dreaming Tree Of..]

I like the flowing structure

[Cocoacandy]

hmmm... one of ur better poems, i'd have to say... well written dear, keep up the good work
*cocoabean*