and we're pretending that i'm not crying out for help

my nose is bleeding,
so high in the air,
and i'd say you're the reason.

you told me i was something,
but i was just pretending.

i pretend all the time...

i pretend i'm not pretending
and thinking of an end to this,
and those who tell me that i'm not worth
this worthless life i'm living.


and i pretend i don't cry
myself to sleep at night,
after he's worn himself out,
pounding away on top of me.

you'll whisper that you love me,
right before you drift away,
though i'm terrified that you're lying.

someday i'll put that razor to my lips,
show you just how good i am
at smiling.

my silver lining's a year away,
and you're waiting patiently,
but i'm convinced that bus is coming.


they didn't tell you i was dying.

Author's Note

second version. straighter to the point(s), more depth i think (hope).

Reviews

[Cocoacandy]

definitely good depth to it... it makes my heart ache to read this poem though... its really that good... thanks for writing it...
*cocoabean*

[Katub]

I adore this, its beautifully wrote and full of feeling. I love these lines:
i pretend i'm not pretending
and thinking of an end to this,
and those who tell me that i'm not worth
this worthless life i'm living.
you've put time into your work and its really good :)X