steel and glass

ever thought of steel touching glass!!

A steel touching glass

will the glass last ?

 

Soft water hiding between gaps

coroding steel s corners

taking it to a crack. 

 

Melted paste sticking to sand

as two in one , even with some dirt

 

And she said " Why did he leave me? "

I gave him everything i have.

Author's Note

broken hearts , why ?

Reviews

[dan]

I echo the comment below from Olivia Marie. If there was more substance, more backstory to this piece I would have a better idea about which to comment. I realize that English is your second language, but you should try to give the readers a clearer idea, a better view of the feelings you experienced. Thank you! take care...dan

[highthought]

They say that the secret of the poem lays in the heart of the writer ....sometimes the writer wants the reader to swim in the sea of his lines hoping that the reader find the message in few lines
.Dan if u can be more specific I ll consider it as a favor you are offering it to me ...thanks

[Magdelena]

Ahhh, because with love we can never take anything for granted. Thinking it is strong, one must always work at it, keeping it alive, nourished, and in this case, strengthened.. The gaps just became too much.. I like how u used this as in comparison to real love.. I wonder on how many out there think all is well when not in fact even trying a bit to see if their other half has any cracks in their foundation.. Okay now I'm talking like a building.. lol

This was great!

Mags xx

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

Steel touching glass could break it if not careful.
Hearts can be broken if not careful.
I like the comparison used.
So many have said this ...""Why did he leave me? I gave him everything I have"

Chloe

[highthought]

i think it s been corrected. i hope!

[Roseanne W.]

the concept could be good, but the poem itself is a difficult read, there are several grammatical/spelling errors that trip up the flow of this. . .the line "rigid plastic sticks to sand" seems unexplained to me, it confuses me as to why it is thereat all.