Glass Barrier

Your face, one so sweet,

Is stuck frozen, below ice,

Staring blankly back.

 

Trees sway soft, rustle;

The wind quietly sighing,

Answering my cries.

 

See-through ice is cold,

Pressing firm against my shins,

Refusing to crack.

 

Snow-fall makes quiet,

The only sound the pounding,

Of both heart and fists.

 

I give up and stare

At dead eyes, so young and sweet,

Breath returns to lungs.

 

The wind howls loud,

Till trees snap and bend and break.

Snowflakes turned bullets.

 

Trees fall and ice cracks

Sounds like feet meeting pop cans.

Cracks bleed ice water.

 

The barrier sinks

When I pound with new vigour,

Till barriers gone. 

 

I pound now on you,

On cold, unbeating chests

Of little sisters.

 

Lips gurgle water;

Your heart makes up for beats missed,

And eyes are alive.

 

Author's Note

Always a little confused about grammar in poems...excuse any mistakes on that front.

Reviews

[Dutch Jr.]

This is amazing. A tale told in poetic fashion; a tale about a girl (or at least what I pictured to be a girl) slowly losing breath as she remains frozen in her icy, solid grave, and the poet who came within a hair of giving up on saving her. I can easily place myself among a frozen tundra while reading this poem as you allude to the frigid environment in every stanza. One cannot help but feel relief as the victim is freed from his/her icy prison.

This was quite vivid, and sent the reader through a roller coaster of moods and emotions. Very evoking. Great job using the setting as a third character as well.

[gwendolyn]

I really liked the darkness of the poem. The mystery as to what is going on is very nicely set in the end. A complete change from dark to light. I especially liked the part of the poem when the surroundings start to tear apart. "The wind howls loud,Till trees snap and bend and break.Snowflakes turned bullets." I could completely imagine it all. And you had hardly used words. Personally I like dark poems which is what led me to this one. Even if it isn't too pessimistic, I thought it was well done. I love writing or reading poems that use water, because of the powerful image it can show, when used correctly, like you did.