The Creature

The Creature

A Story by Gillian Gaines
"

Stranded in the woods, Katherine is fighting for her life, struggling to escape from the grasp of the creature after her soul.

"

The Creature

Horror returned to her eyes after she caught another glance of the creature lurking in the shadows behind her. It’s snarl grew louder and louder as each second passed. Katharine was frozen in fear, envisioning the possible outcomes of her escape. She could run, but she was barely able to keep breathing as it is. She could scream for help, but the dense forest would block the sound of her screams. The nearest town being five miles north of here meant that neither running nor screaming was an option. She was running out of options, and she was running out of time. The creature slowly crept toward Katharine, allowing her to make out its features in the moonlight. It appeared to be human, but after another look, Katharine realized it was more demon-like. Its pale, dead skin sagged like a wet shirt; its long, dark, ratty hair hung along face. The creature was hunched over and its neck was cocked to the left. It stared into her eyes, into her soul, with its pale, dead eyes.

Without warning, the creature lunged towards Katharine. Katharine acted quickly, leaping then sprinting out of the way. She now realized that her only option was to run.

She sprinted toward the end of the forest to the nearest town, jumping over rocks, ducking under branches, and trying to avoid the trees. She didn’t dare glance behind her in fear of hitting an obstacle or slowing down. She could hear the pounding of the ground under the creature’s feet. She knew it was close behind.

After another minute of sprinting, Katharine was having difficulty breathing. She didn’t know how much longer of this she could take. Quickly, Katharine glanced behind her at the creature sprinting towards her on all fours. It was gaining on her. Katharine feared that if she didn’t reach the end of the forest soon, she would run out of energy and fall to the hands of the fearsome creature.

Katharine screamed out in agony. Blood streamed down her face and she cried out in pain. Her head collided with a low-hanging branch after she had glanced behind her at the creature. Her vision was hazy; a slight dizziness added to her disorientation. Katharine immediately noticed that the pounding of the creature had stopped. She looked up from her sprawled-out position on the ground, the blood stinging her eyes as she looked into the creature’s eyes. There it was, standing over her. It’s indecipherable expression filled Katharine with horror. The sudden gust of wind howled throughout the forest, the trees violently thrashing back and forth. The roaring of the wind grew louder and louder, it was almost deafening.

The creature swiftly took hold of Katharine’s leg, throwing her struggling body into a tree. Katharine cried out as her chest smacked against the tree. Katharine struggled to get up, grasping at anything she could grab on to. She took hold of the tree trunk, pulling herself up with all her strength. As soon as she steadied herself, the creature had already grabbed her shoulders, shoving her body against the trunk of the tree. Leaves and other debris rained upon Katharine and the creature as it slammed her broken body into the trunk before grabbing Katharine’s throat. The creature’s grip on Katharine was slowly suffocating her. Her vision slowly faded out, her body growing limp. The creature released her neck, and she dropped to the hard ground. The thump of her body echoed throughout the forest which had fallen silent. Katharine’s lifeless body remained on the forest floor, and the creature vanished.

Katharine awoke to cold rain gliding over her skin. She began to sit up. Pain shot through her body and she fell back, clutching her ribs. It felt as though her entire rib cage was in pieces. After a few minutes of struggling, Katharine managed to stand up, leaning against a tree, clutching her chest with one hand and steadying herself with the other. The pain in her chest was soon accompanied by a throbbing headache and a burning sensation in her throat. Terrified and alone in the dark forest, Katharine screamed for someone, anyone at all to help her. The howling of the forest drowned out her plea, and the light rain now beat against her skin. Katharine leaped to the nearest tree, but missed, causing the side of her head to slam into the tree, her body dropping to the floor. The gash on her head spewed blood down her face, into her eyes and mouth. Katharine laid in the now muddy forest floor, drifting in and out of consciousness. She realized there was no hope, there was no one coming for her. Her body was too weak to move. The trees appeared to be circling around her, and the ground appeared to be moving like a raging ocean beneath her. Her body felt infinitely heavy, she felt as though she were sinking. Her eyes slowly began to close as reality slipped from her grasp.

There she laid, in the haunted forest, rain pelting her skin, waiting.

© 2016 Gillian Gaines


Author's Note

Gillian Gaines
Any advice for the plot, grammar improvements or corrections, spelling corrections, constructive criticisms, etc. are deeply appreciated.

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I think it's really good! but I think you should put this at the end of a longer story. This really struck me as the ending to a larger plot. Who is Katherine, why is she in the woods, etc. If I have a few criticisms they would be those listed below.

1. I think this would be great at the end of a longer story. Right now it's great, but it's more of the final climactic chase than a scary horror driven tale.

2. on this line, Without warning, the creature lunged towards Katharine. Katharine acted quickly, leaping then sprinting out of the way. I would have said, "Katharine acted quickly, rapidly leaping out of the way, then bursting into a sprint." but that's just my personal preference, feel free to ignore it.

3. I find that sometimes it's better to give a vaguer description of one's monster. I might have described yours as "vaguely humanoid shaped, with dead, pale eyes." Just the word vaguely lets the reader think they have a general idea of the creature, but their own imagination would fill in the blanks with something far more horrifying than anything the writer can produce. But, perhaps you wanted it to look very human, so if that was your goal feel free to disregard this one as well.

Despite all that though, I thought this was great! I'd really like to read it at the end of something longer, so if you take my advice and do rewrite it or add on to it, I'd really appreciate a message to the new version.

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




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p
I think it's really good! but I think you should put this at the end of a longer story. This really struck me as the ending to a larger plot. Who is Katherine, why is she in the woods, etc. If I have a few criticisms they would be those listed below.

1. I think this would be great at the end of a longer story. Right now it's great, but it's more of the final climactic chase than a scary horror driven tale.

2. on this line, Without warning, the creature lunged towards Katharine. Katharine acted quickly, leaping then sprinting out of the way. I would have said, "Katharine acted quickly, rapidly leaping out of the way, then bursting into a sprint." but that's just my personal preference, feel free to ignore it.

3. I find that sometimes it's better to give a vaguer description of one's monster. I might have described yours as "vaguely humanoid shaped, with dead, pale eyes." Just the word vaguely lets the reader think they have a general idea of the creature, but their own imagination would fill in the blanks with something far more horrifying than anything the writer can produce. But, perhaps you wanted it to look very human, so if that was your goal feel free to disregard this one as well.

Despite all that though, I thought this was great! I'd really like to read it at the end of something longer, so if you take my advice and do rewrite it or add on to it, I'd really appreciate a message to the new version.

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on July 18, 2016
Last Updated on July 18, 2016
Tags: Horror, short story, supernatural, ghoul, possessed, demon, blood, screaming, woods

Author

Gillian Gaines
Gillian Gaines

Jupiter, FL



Writing