Help

I wrote this as I was in a confusing place in my failing relationship. I tried to put myself in my boyfriends shoes and right from his point of view and this is how it turned out.

 

I’m screaming as the words tear my insides apart.

Shredding my very comfort, clawing at my every wish.

This monster I have created is claiming this body. My body.

As my words slice my toungue and grasp your face I can do nothing but watch.

And hope you forgive me.

I hope you leave.

 

You find it somewhere inside your pure heart to calm and care for me still.

Yet I can’t find it inside the scraps of my body to comfort you.

To show you that I still care.

To show you that I still want you.

Do I?

 

As I shrivel and curl into the ball that I wish I could be in forever, There you are.

Swaddling me, embracing me with your arms, in your love.

I need you, yet I do not deserve you.

I need you.

 

I continue to attempt to take every last piece of enjoyment from you that I can.

There’s no way anyone can handle his much pain.

 

“We aren’t right for each other”.

“I do not know what love is”.

“I do not love you”.

 

I take every last breath and every last tear from your shriveled eyes.

You curl up and hope to be swaddled.

There is nothing you haven’t given me.

Nothing left for yourself.

 

I let you be.

 

I am fine on my own.

Author's Note

any suggestions welcome