This Goddamn Computer

lost my boyfriend to the internet

He's asleep.

You woke up at 2 am and realized he was just asleep beside you.

You woke up at 2 am and realized he had been asleep beside you for awhile now.

You are hurt. 

You elbow him in the face by accident because not only do you want him to wake up but you kind of want him to hurt too. He just rolls over and grunts.

He promised hours ago he'd come to bed and love you as soon as he was off the computer, he promised. It appears you fell asleep waiting.

Again.

You haven't had sex since you moved in with him and it's been weeks. The two of you relapsed together in that time too, beer cans and broken pipes became bedroom foliage. And you were scared.

And he must be real scared too,

Why else won't he make love to you?

(And suppose it's not even about recent drug use, because you missed the drugs and were happy to go back.)

(Well suppose it's more about the fact that you have to compete for attention with this goddamn machine and this goddamn machine always wins.)

(Suppose you tell him how you feel about all this?

No, no, you wouldn't do that)

So at 2 am you sit in front of that goddamn computer, wishing so bad you could break it, but you and the computer both know you'd never do something that would hurt him.

You might even crawl back to bed after writing, right into his arms, and lie awake until it's time to take him to work in the morning.

Reviews

[Key The bard]

Bringing emotion to the sole less machine, haha, it is very well written and slightly humorous to me. The inner monolog is what really pushes the meaning behind this short window into "the writers" life. I enjoyed it very much.

[Jay Levon]

raw and moving, well done!

[Acinna V.]

I can relate to this. Except instead of a computer, it is an xbox!