dead me

ego death

All these unnecessary versions of me, charcoal lungs dreaming for a clean scream.

Adolescent me hoping for another drug induced love streak.

Melatonin sleeping me with three am nightmare scenes, awake for only part of my adult day.

Silent chatter of cynical me lighting my skin on fire through stay away from everyone mode.

Excuse after excuse like tumbleweeds always stuck to cattle ranchers truck frames aging in the sun bitten front yard, rustic and dying with a set of purpose as too be a lawn decoration.

The always longing for adventure an open road open window breezy hair me, watching cars pass from the highway through my window in the parking lot of my apartment complex.

The controlling, mind warped "this is how it should be"

God complex me, always disappointed except in me.

Blush faced focused silver tongued self destructive drunk me, chasing pretty women with a smile that could cut better than a razor.

To the nines sharp, creased black slacks with suspenders in the back getting cancer because it fits the image me.

The sodium phosphate vein pumping aware me, losing feeling in my right wrist from carpool tunnel.

Overworking every muscle in my body to the point of exhaustion an sleep deprivation, dehydration and even sore bones me because I can't afford too eat properly.

Couch potato favorite show watching forget about my pounding problems I just wanna nap me wishing I was doing something exciting.

Five am pounding someone else's cheap vodka cause I have no self control me giving up that one chance of actual sleep for blank drunk dreams.

White trash chugging beers on the way to work for the only hope of a cure for my hangover.

Study nature with every ounce of calm in me hoping to find some external beauty me.

One more drag, dry cough, cold hands but warm lungs killing myself me.

Quick chat with acquaintances quote on quote living the American Dream me.

No time for anyone else but me.

Dust collecting passion lost me, pacing around half started art.

Directionless me acting dissociative staring at objects like I've never seen them.

Empty eyed self absorbed me, waiting for you to stop talking.

I don't even think I exist me, hoping it's all fake me.

Black goo seeping from my broken rotted teeth me with a serrated smile spilling toxic words onto everyone's parade me.

Constant rain, steady paced me breathing with the water droplets leaving the leaves I water everyday me.

Soaking up the sun and breathing deeply me.

Obvious I got a problem with me..

-addisone