Bye, mama

It's a really cool story,and my best work. Even though it looks boring, it has a massage PLEASE REVIEW IT Ignore grammar, i wrote it fast

In New York City, Mr. Hatfield goes to the biggest food store in the city.He is a bachelor, well known of its wealth, that lives alone at his house since the death of his mother. One day he goes to the store as usual. He gets a bottle of Martini, some chips, and a New York Times magazine, then goes to the casher.Since there were three persons infront of him, he begins to read his magazine.

Something seemed weird to him: He felt that the person infront of him, a Mexican old woman, kept on looking at him repeatedly. When he finally thougt of asking her about her awkwarness, she interrupted saying "You look exactly like my son."

-"Excuse me?"

-"You look exactly like my son"

-"Huh?"

-"You are like his copy sent by God"

-"Excuse me, but I don't care"

Then sobbing said -"By now he would be as tall as you, and be of the same age." And now with a nostalgic tone" He died in a car accident 3 years ago at this exact date.The other driver was drunk."

-"I'm sorry" he said

-"You see, I never got to say good bye to him. And now I feel pity for him"She began to cry on his shoulder.

-"Please, dont be sad.Life keeps going, and you have to follow it."

-"Oh, I implore you let me say good bye to you as if you were my son, and you reply by saying good-bye mama. Please let me have this last chance to get rid the pity that is killing me inside my heart."

-"OK. I'll do it."

-"Oh! Thank you. Just say Bye mama before I leave."

-"Bye mom! Like this?"

-"Yes."

When it was her turn with the casher,she scanned all her stuff and got her bags.

Then, at the exit door she said "BYE SON"

-"Bye mom."

-"BYE MY LOVELY SON!"

-"Bye mom."

She left sobbing and crying.

He was just waiting for the casher to scan his items, when suddenly the casher asked him to show him his I.D. because of the Martini.He showed him the I.D. and received a smile from the casher. Then the casher said "It's going to be $ 5672.55 for you"

-"What, but I just bougth three things!"

-"And what about your mom's stuff."

He was perplexed.

Author's Note

I hope u liked it and leave ur reviews.
Ignore grammar.
:3

Reviews

[A.E. Surdam]

Loved it. Especially the end. I so did not expect that!

[Clay Feet]

Surprising scam!

What purpose is gained by stating the nationality of the old lady? Seems like stereotyping.

Sorry, I cannot overlook the bad grammar and neither should you. In my opinion, this is a discourtesy to your audience who takes the time to read that which you cannot take the time to edit.

Creatively written with a nice twist.

[TheMizFit]

I didn't expect the ending at all.
Is it wrong that I laughed more than what I preferred?
Awesome write. :)

[brenda]

aaaw!!:) what a sweet story !!

[Sarah Morgan]

Woah I did not expect that ending at ALL! Really a great story & I expected like this big sad heart-felt ending and then that.., but then again he was like 'Ah, I don't care!' so maybe in her way she was like let me hit this rude guy up with the bill. I liked it though! Kudos!

[Aleyah]

ha, I'm pretty sure I understand this...anyway, aside from the grammar (xD) I thought this was very good and I like the way you added in details at the beginning :D the dialogue between the woman and the boy was very intense, it kind of creeped me out! haha, I think that may have been what you were going for though, anyway, great piece :)

[gonzalo]

ur awesome

[gonzalo]

ur awesome